Good tidings we bring...

Hi everyone!!

I got some cool stuff for christmas, had one whole day off from all the jobs (christmas eve) and got to spend time with my way cool family and my husband.

Aside from happy christmas blessings, a few other people were home for the holidays and this is what we did:

I got to see Stevi on friday-we went to IHOP, shopping and then met scott and ryan for memoirs of a geisha at the meadowview.

Sunday we watched Rumor has it.

Monday I went with Melanie to register for her baby stuff at Target. *she still has the book with the registry cards that I NEED so she better bring next weekend* Ryan joined us and we had a good ole time. We stopped at Barnes to see Megan, she took a break to hang out with us--then got upset at something ryan said (even though im sure she's mad at me-such is life) and so we left and went to taco johns for some delicious food. It was really fun to hang out with melanie and ryan. ryans way fun these days.

New years eve is gonna be fun--but there will be NO kissing--if you want an invite..give me a call before 8 AM wednesday. After that, its just too late.

hope that everyone had a great christmas...paul, i hope you got through ok. I thought a lot about you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

Hey Merry Christmas all!! I have one gift to wrap, and then its off to my parents for the long weekend. thats fun with family, friends and the theatre :) I won't be home until monday-but i may post before then, we'll see what the mood is like :)

I hope everyone has a FANTASTIC christmas. Remember Jesus loves you, and even though its not really his birthday--try and remember its really all about him.

For ERIKA, RACHEL, JOEL, STEVI--the plan right now is friday march 3-monday march 5 for our gathering in the circleville ohio area. there will be laughing, eating, bowling, and oh yeah--THE ACADEMY AWARDS. So thats the plan. Hopefully you can attend all of it. Of course others are as usual invited, but we are going to block out some time thats just for the six of us, and time thats just for the ladies. We'll keep you updated about actual events as the dates get nearer.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, and to all-a good night.

With all my love...

Ok. This is a real post. So pay attention. I have this quote on my away message -many of you have probably seen it: ***To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting***

My original post that i wrote out at work had a lot to do with being a hypocrite. and not like the "oh everyone is a hypocrite on some level kind" but the --i can't let my friends all hang out in the same room because then they will find out im not the person i led any of them to believe kind. Here's the problem. I remember (a few years ago) when someone told me they were pregnant, and asked me to prepare our "christian" friends for the news, so that at least this person wouldn't at that time feel judged. I think, and this person can testify to the fact that they were instead showered with love and support because it didn't matter. She was our friend, and no matter what happened, or happens to this day--she is loved. Many of the christians i know--not so judgemental as you may think. Sure, they stand up for what they believe in, but honestly-its your own conscious that makes you feel guilty. Not the christian. If you profess to be a christian, and hold to a christian value system then YES-other christian people will tell you when you do something not in line with your own professed christian belief. THat does not mean you are being judged..it means that someone is trying to hold you accountable for your own actions. I hold my non-christian friends just as accountable as my christian friends. So to all of my friends--stop lying. Just be who you are. Figure out what kind of person you want to be, and then don't change who you are to fit what you think other people want you to be.

Ok. So that might sound harsh--but its been edited about 4 times, so you got the mild version. here's the question(s) of the day--the serious real question: Do you feel abandoned in some area of your life? Are you lonely? Are you hurt in a way that you've never told anyone ever about? Do you feel lost? If you can trust me: please share. Maybe not in detail, or in a comment--but yes/no. If you are willing to share more-please do--just be honest with yourself. Then be waiting for the good news I have for you in an upcoming post (and the answer isn't just Jesus). Know that no matter where you are right now in your own life-you care cared for by me (and Jesus). Nothing will ever change that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL!!!

do you remember?

Do you remember how hard jr high was? lately, there has been so much talk about kids growing up faster. here's the deal-they don't. jr high is still amazingly hard. your best friends are still your worst enemies. i get reminded of that every day and i am thankful for it. Jesus loves jr high kids. So do I.

I guess my life is boring.

Ok. Maybe not to me, but I don't post because I don't think the things that make me SO happy even entertain most people--so I kinda slack on the posting. My husband complained about this, so now, because you have nothing better to do:

Last weekend--st. louis all star team--fantastic time was had by all. driving home in the snowstorm--and making up a story about some people getting stabbed in the gut--that was good times too. Oh, and the TERRIBLE parodies of christmas songs by randy and jesse were fun times as well.

this week--umm...i babysat for the wrights monday night, got called in to work at classic cinemas over my first christmas off in 8 years *i really just want to get out of debt--this better help*

Quiz practice tonite--more terrific than ever--as far as the quizzing itself goes--i couldn't tell if i was at work or practice with the stories being told in the down time. Pray for my kids. They need it.

OH!! HIGHLIGHT SINCE THE LAST POST: MY WONDERFUL AND AMAZING HUSBAND BOUGHT ME ROSES!!! HE'S TERRIFIC AND I LOVE HIM.

Thats all I got. Hope everyone is enjoying december.

Hump day.

Welcome to my hump life actually. Within the next two weeks, I will finish almost all of my training and be all alone in the world of social work. Today, the girl who i have been working with (and im inheriting the cases) was out sick. No big deal except for the fact that umm...we had planned separate things for our days and well, I had to do both of our full days of stuff. And some of it was stuff I didn't know how to do. And yeah. within the last 24 hours--at least 3 of my cases have turned in to total drama. Like drama i am not qualified to deal with. Its frustrating. I mean challenging. I still had a good day though. It was busy and way crazy, and made me wish more than anything that these were completely my cases or not at all...since i still don't have all the info on what was done most recently. But it will get better. Transitioning is always hard. And my supervisor told me she was impressed with something that I did...so that made me happy--like i can totally do this social work thing. So today was hump day (the uphill part) and it began the transition into hump month. I'm sure by say February--i should know whats going on. :)

Now its off to quiz practice--something I totally know everything about--oh the release. :)

NATIONAL YOUTHWORKERS CONVENTION

NYWC totally amazing. There aren't even words. I made some great friends, and once a year is not enough to see these people. If only they didnt freakin live in California and south florida..
Jeff and Karen said they would teach us to surf if we came to visit them. right. like i want to learn to surf or have vacation time to do that. Next year--CIncinatti. It's already been decided. I can't wait. I am seriously distraught that the U.S. is so big.

It's like coming down off of the camp high--only its different, because its BIGGER. And we had more time to chat and really connect with people than one does at camp.

I am also so happy to have been able to spend some time with Elizabeth Bjorling. I sometimes forget how great of a person she really is.

There's way too many stories. If you've never been to one of these things, and you have ever worked with teenagers on any level--you should go next november. (preferably to Cincinatti so you can see us). It's just awesome. Check out scott's livejournal to learn more in detail about all of the fun happenings.

i gotta finish up this st. louis trip information. have a great turkey day everybody!!

My quiz team totally rules the world!

1st place again!

Jr High Rookies.
AMAZING.
I LOVE THEM FOREVER.

I LOVE MY JOB.

At least today. So, Chipolte is opening Friday down in campustown. We know this because it's just a few blocks from the courthouse. So today they gave away free burrittos and sodas to anyone who stood in line. So our lunch break-Cherylanda, Arnetha, Allison, Valerie and I went and stood in line. we were in line ONE AND A HALF HOURS. Then we took our food back to the office and sat in the break room for another 40 eating. FREE TASTY GIANT CHIPOTLE BURRITTOS. It was fantastic. Of course, not all days are like this--some are much harder--like today christy had to give CPR to someone who had a stroke during a meeting. but today for we was terrific. So bring on the stress--as long as once in awhile i can go out to lunch and de-stress with my social work crew.

In other news: quiz practice last night was interesting. tried something new. don't think it worked too well. i need games for friday night--please help!!

I guess its time to watch so much needed television. Or i could memorize Romans 10. I've got time for both i think.

1:17 AM

I should be in bed. 17 minutes ago. I just finished up the stuff I need for tomorrows quiz practice and should be heading off to bed. I sent an email to a few people reminding them about the quiz and thanking them for their willingness to help out. Then I started thinking about the ever changing dynamic of relationships and read Leahs post.

I think about the people who were my best friends 3 months ago, 3 years ago, and 6 years ago. So many things can change a relationship. I have gained and lost and even regained several friends over the past 6 years. Like April--who was in my wedding--and I haven't seen since her wedding. Or melanie--who was one of my best friends/enemies/and is now one of my close friends again-all for different reasons and purposes. Or Rachel-who is now in Maryland. We're still wives/sisters, etc...but things are different. Not because she's far away, but because a lot of our commonalities have changed. Would I call her with a problem, sure. But I would probably call Christy or Allison first. Not because I don't love her--because I totally do--but we don't know the details of each others lives like we did 6 months ago-we're both busy, and its not a priority--even if it should be. Then there's Erika and Stevi--who can pick up right where we left off and we realize that our lives are busy, and different, and that doesn't change our friendship. I have friends I talk to once a year (congrats to all the ladies expecting little ones) and friends who get their feelings hurt if we don't talk more than once a week. I am sure that sometimes I sound like a bad friend, distracted by other things and unable to talk for long. And sometimes I feel like that towards others at times because of their lack of attention to me. I think part of that comes from wanting to know we are loved and valued by the people that we care so much about. A confirmation of friendship, knowing that people care about how long i cleaned the house and why my grandma is in the hospital. Unoconditionally. Even if things change, that in the end, I can count on someone to love me and value me.

Anyway, I think its so cool that God made so many ways for us to be in relationship with each other. That we can have so many different types of friends. I know I don't tell my friends nearly enough how much they mean to me. I don't say thank you when someone calls to see whats going on in my life, and I blow off things that I don't think I have time for. It's not sincere to do it in my blog (or so I have been told). But to all my friends who read this, and those who don't--please know that you are loved and important and I do have time for you--the day to day stuff is just as important as the crisis stuff--i'm also sorry I (like most of you) don't have countless hours to always hear about the day to day stuff--but it is important. Your lives are important. Each and every one of you. Please know today that above all, you are loved and valued today by me.

its been awhile.

a lot of nothing has happened in the past week. My grandma's trailer caught fire (no real damage i'm told) but shes in intensive care for smoke inhilation. Thanks to everyone who sent up thoughts and prayers. The highlight of the week being my husband and i went to dinner and rented movies and had coffee at borders last night. Other than that, its been lots of work (which i really enjoy), went shopping with Christy twice, got to go to quiz practice and see my lovely quizzers, yeah. a bunch of stuff like that. It seems so strange that i was so lonely in danville when rachel and joel still lived here and now that we live just 15 minutes from champaign i'm very rarely lonely. Of course, i drive to danville twice a week to see the quiz team, but it seems like theres something going on just about every night. Tomorrow scott and i are going to kankakee to see my grandma (who may or may not be out of the hospital) and then to watch chicken little at the meadowview. Last week I went trick-or-treating in the rain with Mel and Malyssa (and the kids of course).

I think that Allison and I are going to work out on tuesday and thursday this week. Then friday my quizzers are sleeping over, saturday is the quiz, sunday is practice and packing for nashville and after work next monday we leave for nashville for a week for the youthworker convention. It's gonna be fantastic. I feel a little bad that we don't have time off to go see rachel and joel in their new house, but we've committed all of our off days to volunteering for camps, quizzing, and youth specialties. I'm sure that sometime in the new year we'll get out there...its just such a long trip to only be able to go for like a day and over 100 dollars in gas. I don't think it matters too much--they're happy there and we're happy here so life is probably as it should be. If i continue on this subject the ramble will just get worse...so i guess i'm gonna go have some lunch.

studying, really.

once upon a time there was a girl who had to pass a test to keep her job, but instead of studying she decided to post on her blog. anything to avoid the endless stream of social work items she needed to review. After a study party where she played on IM with an old friend, and dinner with her new friends she found herself trapped in her room with only her study books and Grey's Anatomy. She never watched the show before, but this seemed like the best time to start. it was about a bunch of people in a train accident-which brought her back to her days at ONU (where she also studied social work for awhile) and the train accident in bourbonnais. It also brought back memories of 8th grade and the accident that ended her young friends life. Saddened by these memories she glanced over at her book and began to read about social work.

In other news, in 24 hours this will all be over and i will be at home!! Yay! i get to see mel's baby tomorrow (maybe i'll post pictures) and eat lunch with my grandma and most excitedly--i get to go to bed next to my husband. :) YAY! YAY!

of course, this past week has meant more tasty food-cheesecake factory, california pizza kitchen, and culvers are just a few of the yummy foods we ate this week. starting tuesday its all veggies and water detox for the entire week. nothing but healthy healthy foods and water until nashville. in 30 minutes allison and i are going to go on a caffiene fun run. then its time for serious studying. or maybe i should pack. whatever. i guess i should try and focus.

stolen from lexa-my favorite shower buddy

I am at home. Relaxing. In one hour, Im leaving for a quiz event that apparently i am running. Good luck on that one. I am sad today. For many reasons. The main one being that an old friend is going through a rough time that i knew nothing about. I suck. But know that you are in my prayers..and if i can help, i will.

Other than that, its too bad I don't even really get to see my husband while i am home. Oh well, its only one more week. and nashville is only a month away. then its time for fantastic holidays :)


A-Zs of Me (this is the stolen item/time waster while i print questions)

A ~ Age you got your first kiss - real kiss--summer after 7th grade. Oh, dustin.

B ~ Band listening to right now -new david crowder-- samples from website.

C ~ Crush - Michael Rosenbaum

D ~ Dad's name - Mike

E ~ Easiest person to talk to - besides my cute husband--Jeremy

F ~ Favorite TV show - depends on the day--lately-CSI

G ~ Gummy worms or bears - bears-they're original.

H ~ Happiest memory - this is way too hard--my recent happiest memory-taking a picture of my quiz team with the travelling trophy.

I ~ Instrument - clarinet-in 5th grade only.

J ~ Jr. High Crush - Kyle Anderson.

K ~ kissing my husband when i've been gone for a week

L ~ Longest car ride ever - that trip to disney was pretty rough a few years back.

M ~ Mom's name - Phyllis

N ~ Nicknames - T (for taylor), One T, 77 T, burrito (inherent root of one T and 77 T), sam

O ~ One animal you like - kitties, animal i like but can never have-manatee

P ~ Phobias - too many to count.

Q ~ Quirks - the main one--i hate when my food touches

R ~ Reason to smile - daisies, quizzing, camp, friendships-old and new

S ~ Song you sang last - 2 cents trying to figure out the title.

T ~ Time you woke up today - 1:30 PM. i had a rough week.

U ~ Unknown fact about me - If I tell you, then it wouldn't be unknown, would it?

V ~ Vegetable you hate - not possible.

W ~ Worst habits - sleeping in, running late.

X ~ X-rays you've had - arm, and i had an ultrasound my senior year of high school because i had funny stomach problems. thats also when i had the upper GI and had the gross barium.

Y ~ Yummy food - cake.

Z ~ Zodiac sign - THE FISH.

naperville.

first of all, jeremy is my hero. he got me a working laptop so im not so cut off from the internet community this week and next while i am in naperville. that makes my stay so much more enjoyable. My room smells like scott and joel just got home from ruby's. So yeah. I leave the windows open. stupid extended stay america. but at least i have a fridge. thats happy. and im getting to be even better friends with my new co-workers, so thats a happy. the social workers *"front row style" rachel* in our class are driving me completely nuts. its pretty boring, and the class really isn't fond of our champaign crew, because we tend to be a little bit rowdy and we always super play the games and answer the questions (thinking at least this way it isnt so boring, and there is no point wasting time waiting for someone to answer questions just because everyone is afraid to talk). At first, i was a little upset because i dont like when people don't like me for no reason. but then i realized, thats dumb, because how can you dislike someone for making class fun? so tomorrow, when they try to eat our candy--we're not sharing. :) sound like daycare? ok. well we're child welfare workers so maybe its practice.

We've had some tasty food-Portillos, PF changs, popeyes, and this tasty pancake house place. Just down the road we have a 24 hour dunkin donuts/baskin robbins. so thats good too. the bad news is we're gonna all go home at the end of next week quite fat. *sigh* but its so good.

we also went to ikea, and a few other random places, and next week--chicago premium outlets! Yay for not having any money--but at least its fun to look.

The worst part about being here is its so far from scottie. i hate being all alone at the hotel. i mean, it would be like a vacation if i could have him here with me. i miss cuddling. next week i guess i will bring outmeal my bear with me to keep my company.

like i have nothing better to do.

First-no one yell for not updating. No one else updates either these days (erika, lexa!) but i'm gonna be in aurora all week and who knows if i'll be able to use a computer. get used to it, because my being too busy to post will occur all the way up until the week after dec. 10 (when everyone else gets busy!).
Anyway, on with the lovely thing i was tagged wtih. Enjoy.

10 Years Ago I...

--was 17 years old
--was memorizing hebrews and the peters
--was dating wes
--was best friends with Katie

5 years ago i was...

--22 years old
--married to scottie
--working for classic cinemas
--leading an omega group with molly

1 year ago i...

--was working in indiana with crappy bud
--was attending the national youth workers convention
--was missing my family because we moved away
--visiting rachel and joel almost every other week

yesterday i...

--was at quizfest ALL day
--went out to eat with my quiz team
--hooked jeremy on quizzing (finally)
--told my husband happy sweetest day at 10:15 pm (when someone told me it was sweetest day)

5 snacks i enjoy are..

--popcorn
--pretzels
--chocolate/candy
--fruit
--cheese fries

5 songs i know all the words to...

--life is good --stellar kart
--water buffalo--veggie rocks version
--any childrens church songs
--with Jesus in the boat (omega version *wink wink*)
--Hotel California--Eagles

5 things i would do with 1 million $$...

--pay off all our debt...
--buy a house
--go to DISNEY
--get new cars
--give it to Quizzing (buy westside a van, then give it to quizzing)

5 places i would run away to...

--rachel and joels
--disney
--a quiz with my team
--parents house
--camp

5 things i would never wear..

--
--
--
--
--

5 favorite tv shows...

--SVU
--veronica mars
--CSI-original vegas only
--arrested development
--smallville

5 bad habits...

--eating candy
--farting
--watching tv
--being mean to husband
--thats it :)

5 biggest joys

--family gatherings
--hanging with my quiz team
--camp
--cuddling with husband
--Disney (you almost thought that wouldn't make it)

5 fictional characters i would date..

--lex luther (only from smallville)
--Ron Weasley
--Michael Flaherty
--James Matthew Barrie
--will turner

5 people i could tag...

--stevi
--gina
--ryan
--melanie
--erika

ah, Friday.

This week has been busy. I love busy, but I love sleep too, and I'm missing it. Tonight, immediately after work, we head to quizfest. Saturday is another full day of quizzing. The kids are quizzing varsity instead of junior varsity, so they will finally quiz harder teams. thats really good, they need to see that our district sucks :) after quizfest, i need to pack for aurora, because there is no time on sunday.

Sunday is quiz practice and gram's birthday, and then the journey to aurora. All week in aurora--awesome because that means watchin tv every night and resting :) The girls want to go out, and i will probably go once, maybe twice, but all in all, i think i'm stayin in. Friday i get to come home (where i think we will have quizzing?) saturday nothing, and sunday back to aurora. such is my life until halloween. then a whole week of regular work (copying and eating probably) and NASHVILLE. Then thanksgiving, and hopefully by then, i'll be able to have my very own cases. *sigh*

I need to get ready for work. Have a great weekend everyone!

I heart my kids forever.

Friday night-got paul, emma, brooke after work. went to store. made mini pizzas--practiced, played, talked, laughed.

Saturday-got up at 6, met megan, went to quiz. had person from sheldon join team-caitlin. 13 teams. Quizzed 4 rounds, lunch, 2 more rounds. Old timers quiz-good job to scott. finals.
We're a brand new team--brand new quizzers. 2nd district quiz ever. So yeah -they totally took FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep. thats right. FIRST. Paul was 2nd and Emma 4th individually. THey're in junior high. Yeah. serious tears of joy. we didn't get home until a little after 10.

Now im talking to megan. good times. after this, BED. I'm skipping church--and thats fine.

Roadtrips, kinda.

About my new job: theres like 4 maybe 5 new people. Ok. No big deal. Except none of us have any DCFS or LSSI training...this means that we are qualified to copy and hole punch. Which is what we did all morning--oh, and took a sexual harrassment policy quiz on the computer. Fun, sure. After lunch I got to go with Christy to the DCFS office and watch a case review. Then I got to ride with her to rankin. It's cool-at least she got mileage. The clients we went to visit were not there, so we have to go back thursday. All of this week and next week, unless we go with someone out into the field, we are hole-punching or copying. I'm happy that Christy and I are on the same team because that makes finding someone to shadow really easy and we get to go on roadtrips to random sucky towns like rankin, gibson city, danvers, etc.

The burnout rate for social work is like 5 years--the good news about this--3/4 of the caseworkers are about my age--yay for interaction with people that aren't jr highers or way grown (like the quiz folk). My supervisor seems pretty cool and so far, im likin it. It's a good thing I don't mind busy work though--because thats all we're gonna get until after training--and maybe even after that.

I'm gonna go watch some tv and relax since i haven't really gotten to do that since saturday. :)

I don't care.

I don't care what legend says to be true. In my heart I still believe in his goodness. If only someone would tell him the truth, hug him and love him. We could get rid of all that evil growing inside him. I'm willing to help. I mean seriously folks. Loook at him.

Does he look like he could really be the villian of the story?

Giving

I found out today that the church where i coach quizzing doesn't pay for the quizzers. The pastor and his wife do. The church is so small, it doesn't have a youth budget to cover that stuff. Once we get caught up on our bills--i think we can afford the $15 a month for these kids at the district level. I guess the parents were going to buy the jump seats too--not the congregation. I have to figure out a way to get this church involved. Its the responsibility of the church to encourage/affirm/take care of/ its members. Anyone wanting to help send some kids to nationals--let me know (this means you former quizzers and people involved with quizzing that knows how important nationals can be-its where scott and i met--i think--right rachel? Bobby Van who?)

In other news--to drain even more of your money (as i know you donated to the nationals fund) Jeremy and I are also looking for fundraising ideas and donations to keep the cost of EC camp from increasing by like $75. next year.

My quiz portion was found--but not where i left it. curious, i think so.

ode to my quiz portion and other ramblings

Oh Quiz Portion how I miss you. I can't believe someone stole you away. You were highlighted so beautifully and had such a majestic nature. If it had been up to me, a strip search of every person attending the quiz would have taken place to return you to me. But instead-you are with another. I then found a new love--a smaller, black quiz portion-and I soon grew to love its multicolored chapters although never as grand as yours. THEN SCOTT LOST THE NEW LOVE-and I am alone, and portionless.

Anyway: I'm bored. about a bajillion years ago (or like a week) i was tagged:

7 things I plan to do before I die:

Get a masters degree
have kid (s)
Get a house
learn sign language
cook thanksgiving dinner
defeat paper mario without help
write a book

7 things I can do:

listen
coach a quiz team
make cookies
sing in the shower
dance in the rain
help others
play DDR in public without being embarrassed

7 things I cannot do:

eat raw meat
go to bed early
rollerblade without breaking something
travel the world (no dollars to do it)
watch anything scary before bed
cure cancer
build a teleporter

7 things that attract me to another person:

Eyes
Smile
sense of humor
belief system
compassion
calf muscles
laugh

7 things that I say most often:

I know, right?
I totally heart ___!
no for real now.
i can do what i want
you don't know EVERYTHING!

I'm sure theres more-feel free to leave them in the comment section as i can't think of what they might be.


7 celebrity crushes:

Paul Rudd (curse him!)
William H Macy
Michael J Fox
Steve Zhan
Johnny Depp
Rupert Grint
Hugh Grant

7 people tagged to continue the fun:

Megan
Scott
Melanie
Ryan
Lexa
Rachel
Joel

Alright all. Have a good day. I'm going to memorize Romans chapter 4. GRR. And think of ways to make my quiz team happy. And maybe look for my missing quiz portion. We'll see.

Micah 7:7

I was frustrated. Had a lot to say, to a lot of people. Found this verse instead. I hope it means something to someone. If not--well, it means something to me.

I posted several different versions--Read them all, if you like a certain one--let me kn0w why.

Micah 7:7

But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. (New American Standard)

But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.
(New International Version)

As for me, I look to the LORD for his help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me (New Living Translation)

But me, I'm not giving up. I'm sticking around to see what GOD will do. I'm waiting for God to make things right. I'm counting on God to listen to me. (the Message)

worst feeling in the world: waiting for the phone to ring, realizing that every minute it doesn't is a waste of time and probably decreasing your chances.

the weekend.

Ryan, Erika, Joel --you haven't posted in over a week. You should. It would give me something to do on monday nights when my husband is at work and i am bored.

Friday night-hung out with Christy. Watched a documentary I hadn't seen on child stars. Watched the credits to Dickie Roberts so Christy could hear the awesome song. Ate pizza. went with husband to parents house.

Saturday-Summit wouldn't start. Mom took me to meet Jeremy at Barnes for the camp meeting. very interesting--not as bad as usual. Jeremy bought me lunch. that made me smile-he does that. He' s a good friend. Hung out with mom. Megan came to follow me home (to make sure devil summit would make it). Drove Devil summit close to 3 miles. Then megan pushed it off the road as we waited for mom battery dead again (same battery). Mom comes, pushes devil summit with her jeep. Dad comes. Empty jumper cable bag. Dad leaves. Mom proceeds to push. Dad returns, finally devil summit starts. Return it to parents house. Megan drives me home. She's a good friend too :) Scott, Megan and I head to the roadhouse for cheese fries. We go to meijer adn then home.

Sunday-scott drops me off at southside-sunday school was good-we finished last weeks discussion on spiritual warfare. Go to church. Pastor Randy preaches AMAZING sermon on letting God be our passion. Scott comes. We try La Potosina. The chicken isn't shredded. We go to wal-mart and office max. Then quiz practice in the sanctuary to help emmas fear. Kayla doesn't come, but new girl, liz shows up-decides she will join the team. We practice. Scott explains Romans 7. We goof off. We leave practice and head to our new small group-the 5 love languages (for couples). I've wanted to do that series for a long time, so i'm glad that its a new small group this fall at southside. Go to church, pastor jay has returned, but pastor randy preaches again. a lot more bible-study-ish and less passionate than the morning, but some people like that. Some people introduce themselves to us (Kathy and Lonnie i believe) after the service. Pastor jay and nick (worship leader at church who directed EC camp one year) meet us at monicals after the service for some good food. I love being a part of a church community again. I can't wait until scott can come in the mornings too--i think he will really like it.

Important things today: finally had my interview with Lutheran Social Services. I think it went well. Hopefully I will know tomorrow (but for sure by the end of the week) if I got it. Had hotdogs with Christy at Weinershnitzel. Missed my exit, got home late. Scott left immediately for work, not getting to enjoy his hotdogs because i was late. called a screen printer. found out i can get quiz shirts made for under $15. very pleased. watched tv. watched first and second round of storm. Watched CSI. typed in blog. Now I am returning to the couch. Oh yeah, and I developed a fever to match my crappy throat. (curses to poor throat immunities-why are throat sicknesses the only ones i ever get? not that i want different ones, but seriously--every time someones throat might hurt across the room mine gets infected).

Life so far today.

Ok. first of all, everybody pray for Mark and Leah Garrett, their new baby Seth, and the rest of the Reynolds/Garrett family and the doctors at they look to find the answer to whatever may be wrong with Seth.

In other news--on my way to pay champaign/Ford counties for the right to substitute teach I got lost. and i felt a little sicky-so i used my 2 emergency dollars to buy a taco bell pop which we all know that i love. while there, i also got a call from LUTHERAN SOCIAL SERVICES and i have an interview first thing monday morning...so I never made it to the regional office because if this job works out, I wouldn't be able to substitute anyways. So yeah. Pray for that.

I'm happy because Christy is coming over tonite when she gets off work since both of our husbands are at work until late. It should be a good time. I'm really glad that we've finally (after like 5 years) become friends outside of camp.

Also, pray for my friend Gina. Shes going through a really rough time and she needs some God hugs.

I think thats the news for now.

Congratulations!

Congrats to Mark and Leah Garrett as they welcomed their newest family member this morning!

Congrats also to Shaun and Melody Moyer who welcomed their new little girl today as well!

Baby Mania--I tell you what!! I'm really happy that both babies are healthy happy newborns and will be praying for both families as they adjust and grow.

Thursday september 29th

Is the NEW season of smallville. Scott you were totally wrong. it's so not over.

Check in Out Here!

Thats really all I had to say, but it brightened my mood.

Platform 9 3/4

My mom, gram, gram, and brother came to visit today and took us to chilis for lunch. i was sad for i wanted roadhouse and it was closed. it was a good time, and i am lucky to have a family that loves me and feeds me.

Scottie and I worked on quizzing quite a bit...im trying to decide if adding a sunday practice in the sanctuary will help, and also if one friday a month with the south zone really is a good idea. Man, it just seems like quizzing is getting so expensive. its totally worth it--but its the parents im worried about.

I got a call for an interview at a bank today. It makes me nervous, because I want to know what southside is offering first--because I really think that doing all these things (quizzing, camp, childrens church, NYWC) are what God wants from me, and my passion is such that there is no way I could choose between them. Of course, if we can't pay the rent thats another issue entirely. God provides, right?

Sometimes, at the craziest moments, i remember my invisibility cloak worn often this summer, and wonder if it hasn't somehow slipped back around my shoulders. It's odd to feel that way after so many good days (since friday at least) but its how i began to feel tonight, right around 11 pm---invisible and lonely are different, right?

Have a good tuesday everyone. and keep us in your prayers.

On a day like today...

Friday was fun. Went to IHOP with hubby, melanie, and the fish-- yum to that.
Today was our first district quiz. My wonderful and amazing kids took 2nd overall (out of 12 teams) and placed 7th and 9th individually. They did so fantastic..they totally are my heroes.
After all that fun, we picked up melanie, went to taco bell (it was like a freezer in that place for real) and then went to visit gram and hung out with mom a little bit--now im waiting for scott to wake up and drive me home as he was taking a nap.

Did i mention how totally terrific my kids are?? im going to suprise them and show up at church tomorrow to watch them get their awards. :) YAY!!

hmm.

well, im sittin here, with a million things to say about life, Jesus and all the other stuff most of you apparently find fascinating: instead i'm just gonna go ahead and add this adorable picture from our trip to iowa a few weeks ago. thats right-we're all sexy beasts-and that park was pretty awesome. I miss my best friends-but I know that they are seeking God just like we are, and I am praying that things will work out for them in a mighty way.

Here's to forever friends-my true partners in crime. Theres only 106 days until christmas.

Annoying little voice.

Well, i've done it. I've decided to jump in-and if i fall flat on my face in front of everyone i respect-so be it because thats what God wants. Beth said I can call her in the middle of the night if I need to...i have every phone number known to man for her...but still...how do you know that annoying little voice is God??

Also, I love when people read and comment on my life. Its the whole reason I post.
And about the rest of my day:
Interviewed at DSC (someone hire me already!).
Husband took me to Panera--I will love him forever (not because of panera but man it helps-that place is superior tasty!).
Went to Danville. Closed savings account.
Met with Pastor Jay, saw Nick and Pastor Randy in passing.
Returned movie. Cried when they didn't have Mario Baseball.
talked on the phone.
went to quiz practice. I'm so glad I'm not in junior high. its way too much drama.
talked on the phone some more.
came home. wanted a burritto, ate some spaghetti.
talked on IM. researched rotational model sunday schools (not for sunday school).

Ok. Thats it.

*gasp*... so sara worries about things too?

Yes, she does. All day long I have been trying to post about whats on my mind. All of my worries, fears and anxieties all come down to trusting God and not wanting to let other people down. I have spent a lot of time the past few months offering what i felt was wise counsel to several of my friends. I honestly love that they trust me and my opinion enough to seek my judgement. However--this new opportunity has just come into my life in that GOD-REALITY was I was so eagerly seeking a week or so ago--Can I let God be GOd? Can I follow the very ideas about faith and trust that I have encouraged others to seek? Do I have the faith? Will I let my worry overtake me? I spent over an hour in prayer today. For those of you who know me--you know this is extremely rare. I do pray--but its usually not for an hour at a time--I did not allow myself to become distracted (which was really hard--rachel knows the prayer) and spent time seriously trying to hear God. The thing that kept coming to mind--i kept shoving out of my mind in the spirit of "I'm trying to listen for God" so what if what kept coming to mind was God? It's not the first time I wouldn't have recognized the call. But its always scarier to follow God than to ignore him-even if it pays off in the end. I'm only a risk taker when I am "camp sara" or maybe "quizzing sara" and maybe that in itself is the answer I needed.

Good times...

So, friday we started the moving PROCESS. It is really a process because with both of us working, and everything else going on, we were totally not ready. Anyway--recap of friday-hung out with timmy, scotts car caught fire, went to IHOP with Scottie, Ryan, Timmy and Hollye. Saturday, got the truck, loaded some stuff, packed some stuff, went to arbys, unloaded some stuff, unpacked some stuff. Went to the roadhouse with scott, ryan and hollye (Timmy had to leave). Went to Meiers, Hollye got us some fun memory foam pillows came home put away more stuff slept on clean sheets. Today-got up late. Decided not to go to work at the theatre in danville ever again. Showered, talked to mom-devil summit is back in commission and as soon as we can get to kankakee to get the title, it will be ours. Talked to scott. Talked to gram s. watched some scrubs and ate cheese fries. Scott will be home at six, then we have to take the truck back, go get some more stuff we left behind and who knows what else.

I am really happy with our new place. I need to find a job this week so that we can paint the apartment. I hope we stay here for a long time...because its a really good deal so we should be able to save some money and get some stuff paid off.

I feel really worn down. Its not just from moving. I have been so tired the past few weeks. Part of that is all the emotional strain of trying to move, saying goodbye to rachel and joel, getting new jobs. its like starting life all over--and thats really stressful (especially since we've done it twice before in the past year and a half).

Anyway, im gonna go unpack a little more before scott gets home...I hope we can get some POP.

funny.

so, i say something competely in love (and i think the people i was talking to all know that) totally not trying to cause conflict of any kind, and someone comments anonymously, and suddenly people are ACTUALLY commenting..i've had more comments in the last 24 hours than i have in weeks. So i guess thats a big thanks to anonymous, and a reprimand for all of my friends for not commenting more (melanie and ryan excluded)

isn't it crazy that we've created a world where people are SO defensive they misunderstand concern as judgement? Ah well, its not worth the drama.

My husband took me to the roadhouse after work and that made me super happy. i got 30 hours at the theatre next week--thats way too many since thursday was supposed to be my last day. i have no spine.

i've got some interviews, and even a call or two. i'll let you know if any of it works out.

we're moving friday (boxes, etc in the car) and then furniture saturday morning. we're still in need of some good help. lunch provided on saturday!

well, im tired and thats really the only exciting things in my life. WAIT-there is one more thing. I saved melanie from some overwhelming greek structures. yeah-im that cool.

crazy.

i have a lot to say. to a lot of people. but its probably best if i just stay quiet. because no one listens anyway (except maybe ryan). so let me just throw a little bit out there, and you can take it our leave it. its pretty random, things running through my head. some of it specific. most of it just "letting some crazy out" as megan calls it..

melanie, i've been thinking, and although you'll probably find someone else closer (mom, etc) as terrified as i am...it would be an honor.

megan, you need to see a doctor because your moods are getting increasingly more swing-ish, and i am worried about you.

ryan (and hollye), stay level-headed and remember, love is a forever feeling, not a this is fun for now feeling.

cynthia-how is your relationship with Jesus?

scottie-i love you, you are the favorite part of every day.

stevi and paul-just get married already. maybe im not around enough-but you both seem rather fond of each others company and thats a big part of forever.

family--send money.

if anyone has a washer and dryer they don't want (the dryer needs to be electric) please contact me as we are looking for them. also, if anyone has martha stewart like abilities and would like to help me actually decorate the new place that would be really neat.

i have an interview at a kindergarten readiness school (read: preschool special ed) in urbana. thats exciting. of course, i probably won't get hired, but since i applied online today and they called me today that might be hopeful. Lutheran Social Services however has placed me in round two *meaning im not at the top of the hire list and didnt make the first cut* so i MIGHT hear something next week. Dale won't believe anyone that rob is probably stealing and wants me to work WITH him to help him. yeah. right. man. my life is pretty boring. even when its eventful. im gonna go read for awhile.

please

will someone please offer me a job so i can get out of theatre hell?

covered in glue

IOWA was a super-duper time with fun parks and rest stops and family and such. I would post some of the cool pictures, but as we all know, I am completely uncapable of that, so if you want to see em, leave a comment, and i will invite you to view them via OFOTO.

Rachel and Joel are officially gone. I'm glad we spent the weekend together. It'll be different (since even when we lived in Indiana we still saw each other at least once a month if not more) but we'll survive. I am excited for them, and scared for them at the same time. I hope they find what they are searching for (although that might be tough as I AM RIGHT HERE!!) Seriously though--as much as they will be missed, I hope they can find a place where they are happier.

I'm finally doing the table project i wanted to do before we moved here--and so i am currently covered in glue. Mod-podge actually-but GLUE. I hope the tables turn out as cute as the idea was. I did one table just with scottie and me, and the other i included our family on. FUN TIMES.

Monday-we get to sign our lease, pick a time to move in, open a bank account, get our utilities hooked up, talk to mediacom and then find me a job. all at one time.

Oh, I quit my theatre job. As in thursday I will be done unless Dale offers me a ton more money-that job is so not worth it anymore. if it was classic cinemas, maybe-but here-no. Besides, that will motivate me to find a better job --right?? RIGHT??

My husband made cookies while I was at work. Thats reason number 156484652467 that I love him.

I got an idea.

If everyone we know sends us $10 we should be able to get some of these utilities paid without completely exhausting our savings account. So think about that, and call me to get the address to which the money should be sent. I'm counting on you people!!! :)

In other news, work was fun last night, i am really going to miss richie. really. we always have fun, and rob is kinda not fun anymore so im not looking forward to when its just the two of us. Oh well.
In a few hours we're leaving for Scotts family thing. Its the last thing we will be doing with rachel and joel before they move so this trip better be fun. We'll see though because everyone is stressed about moving/new jobs, etc. it'll probably be a good time and im just being negative. Maybe we could take an offering at scotts family function as well to help us with utilities and such. I dont really know most of his family well enough to ask that but its a thought.

A few strong arms.

Well, we think we have decided on a place to live. We are in need of a few muscular arms to assist us on moving day. We are tentatively scheduling that day to be Saturday September 3rd. We will of course provide meals (probably lunch) for anyone who helps, and if you come from a far distance, you are welcome to stay the night. Let me know if you are interested, and I can get you more details if that date ends up working out.

I still don't have a job. Its frustrating, but God I'm sure has a plan for where he wants me. Hopefully that place will realize how much God wants me there and offer me a job sooner rather than later.

profound.

Sorry Megan. You know what kind of mood i was in, so this one will probably be profound too.

So this is from The Message, by Eugene Peterson-who has a fantastic Bible paraphrase (NOT to replace regular Bible reading, but as a helpful modern supplement).
It's from Matthew 6:approximately verses 33-34

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Ok. So I spent all day stressed out, and listened all day to Scott telling me God loved me and it would be ok. I went for a walk and I prayed. It was one of those times where God felt like being God and kept his mouth shut. Or i was too stressed out to really listen. Then Megan asks me about praying, which was actually helpful, because YES i had prayed, but I had left it at that. So I started thinking about how I expected God to give me this perfect answer which I know isn't even in the nature of God. But its what I WANTED. So I go to grab my copy of the message, and suprise-its still at the church. Which sucks. Because I needed a fresh outlook. Having studied and quizzed for so long, all of those do not worry about tomorrow verses ring pretty much cliche in my head. However, those same verses as translated above have given me peace. A new outlook. I know its not the end of the world, but moving, buying a car, etc just gets overwhelming. And it doesnt help that LSS hasn't called..because if I take the other job--well there goes camp, quizzing, and the youthworker convention. All those things I care about and feel that God wants me doing...unable to be done because i have to work nights and weekends for the rest of my life. But its going to be all right. What is God doing right now that I should be concerned with? I have some amazing junior high quizzers that I can't wait to hang out with every week. I have great friends, family and a wonderful supportive husband. We have food in the fridge (mostly eggs, but thats ok) and in the pantry (here its noodles or tuna) and we have cell phones and a landline, and internet and all the other fancy things that we expect to have and don't really need *thanks scottie* so maybe its time to rethink. If i'm so worried about tomorrow, then im obviously lacking in faith. Of course, this is easier to say than to actually believe. I am worried about tomorrow, but the change in attitude is that I trust God will provide for me tomorrow the same way He did today with phone calls from friends, and hugs from my husband and all the other things, like the cool breeze to help my eyes.

So this has gotten longer than I planned. I'm still stressed, but for tonight, I have a place to rest and I trust that tomorrow God will provide me at least that much if not way more than I can currently hope to have on my own.

spinning in circles.

Remember childhood, when spinning in circles until you got dizzy (or being spun by someone else) was pretty much the best part of your life? Nothing could top that feeling of not knowing which way to walk, and giggling as you toppled over.
Fast forward to today. Your best friends are scattered all over the U.S. instead of meeting daily in your back yard. You pray that things will settle down and that the spinning is only a temporary part of being an adult. Where to live, where to work, where to go to church, how to fit all of the important stuff in while still paying the bills. Every move seems to be the last one, every job seems more permanent than the last. Commitments change and shift based on what you are able to fit in, not what you really want to be doing. But all you're really doing is spinning. The feeling you longed for as a child now makes you sick as you try to find balance. Struggling to make everything thats important fit with all the other stuff.
I'm ready to stop spinning. Find a place to fit in, to live, to work, to volunteer. And for it to not change every 9-12 months. That would be totally awesome. Lets work towards that, ok?
and could all my friends please come play in my backyard so that the rest of the world doesn't matter? just for like an hour? FANTASTIC-i'll see you there!

Quizmania.

5:15 AM.
Green powdered candy.
finger crochet.
baby wipes.
new friends.
old friends.
erroring out.
sorry megan.
going to ryans.
losing emma.
happy birthday to emma.
juice boxes galore.
Veggie ROCKS.

I should be sleeping.

I have to get up and leave for a quiz in approximately 3 1/2 hours. YAY for the first quiz..even if it just just quizmania and it is Romans. Anyway, my husband and i spent an evening all alone doing nothing. IT WAS FANTASTIC (of course, i did take a nap, but just hanging out together on the couch was a great feeling).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEXA DAX SHELTON HERBERT!!!!!!!

highs and LOWS

well, so today was going ok. work was fun, and then when i got home, there was a message for scott saying that dsc wanted to offer him a job! so YAY. then rachel and joel came over, and we were just hangin out playin road rage, waitin for scott to get home..and then scott walks in and announces that his car is really broken. well, that means he cannot get to a job in champaign--nor can we share a car if we move to champaign because the job i am hoping for requires the use of my car. so we are minus one car and both hoping to work 40 minutes from home. the original solution was to move halfway between work and church so as to do both, but as that is impossible with only one car we are at an impasse. i don't really know what to do. and then we get cash at the ATM and the bank says that we have $150-$200 less than my check register believes we have. which means we don't even really have enough extra money to move or get another car. its crazy our luck and how we always seem to find out really great things and then-as if to counteract it something totally sucky happens. Its never just-lets have them be happy-or even lets have them be miserable because then we could adjust. and heaven forbid we have normal with small bits of good news and bad. its always gotta be major stuff. WHY? Now theres no way i can go to kokomo and visit my friend jen because we dont have $40 extra bucks to spend on the gas, and scott might need the car those 2 days. see. GRR. I'm so frustrated right now. It makes me want to crawl in the bathtub with a toaster. That may be a bit dramatic. sigh. i guess i better head to work. at least richie is paying me to preview.

i love my kids.

Let me tell you my really boring story. So I get to practice, and one of my girls-Emma-tells me that Kayla isn't going to do quizzing because she has soccer every wednesday and that pretty much breaks my heart since Kayla is one of the primary reasons I wanted to work with this team. So then none of the other teams showed up, and i was even more sad-but really happy at the same time that my 3 kids that did show up are doing fantastic and really excited about going this saturday. We get about halfway through practice and in walks KAYLA. she apologized for being late and then told me she really wanted to do quizzing, so was it ok if she was late every week-so then obviously im much cheered up by this. then we do a practice round open book on chapter one, which we were almost finished reading through when kayla arrived--and she got 2 correct jumps! I was super PRAISE JESUS about it--because i truly believe this girl just really needs someone to love on her. And she's going on saturday--shes even staying at emmas so she doesn't oversleep. Oh, and last week, she wouldn't even try and jump and was super discouraged... YAY GOD! My other kids-paul and michael did great too--and i think that this team is going to have some spectacular times--we had lots of good laughs tonite, and we are going to be spending tons of times in cars with the distance we have to travel to quizzes...so YAY YAY YAY!!! for those of you who aren't familiar with quizzing, and with what kayla showing up means-im sorry. Just know its a super huge praise. SUPER SUPER HUGE. anyway, thats it. I just wanted to share.

so gina is so cool.

hey guys--check this out. Gina had one on her site, and i thought it was TOTALLY cool, so you should do it. but you have to totally zoom a lot to be exact. rachel..you should use the new address :) Anyway, here it is MY GUESTMAP!

Visibility: ZERO

so i drove home tonite in this crazy scary fog. it would randomly not exist for like 10 seconds and then i would be slammin on my breaks as i could not see 20 feet in front of the car. it was like that the entire way home. it was scary and kinda cool. and when i got home--yay my quiz portion had arrived, and so that made my night.

it was sad to drop my keys off at the meadowview. maybe this time i really am done with classic cinemas. now lets just hope that i get the job i really want.

well, i guess thats it. i just wanted to post to make the world a better place. i thought i had more to say, but alas, my life dulls in comparison with my friends.

What's going on?

It's been almost a week...i'm sure some of you are pretty stressed about that. Anyway--lets see..
I AM SO EXCITED about BIBLE QUIZZING its insane. Its almost like camp world..so you all know how truly excited i am. i visited melanie wednesday night-we went to steak-n-shake with stephanie and jeremy. then we stayed up talking, got veryl little sleep-and went to the museum of science and industry-where we talked like adults and enjoyed the world like kids. Thursday night i went to champaign for the savoy 16 interview-and hung out with my friend Christy-for the first time ever outside of camp world. She works at Lutheran Social Services and is hopefully gonna get me a job there. Thats the job i really want--so everybody pray super super hard. Then back to kankakee (yes, i spent lots of time in the car) where I hung out with megan at dennys until like 5:30 in the am. worked open-8 on friday..watched some monk with the adorable husband..more steak-n-shake with megan that night. came home this morning. worked on quizzing stuff--found some errors in the district scheduling...took a nap--worked in danville with richie--so that was fun. now im finally posting.
The next few weeks will be more of the same action packed funness with erika coming on tuesday and picnic on wednesday--then friday randy's visiting--and saturday is quizmania, then a visit to jens the next week-and scotts family reunion thing that weekend.

YAY for good friends and fun times. i'm so glad for all of the people in my life. im really lucky.

also-stevi is going on a diet. i think im going with her. kinda like a trip--right? no problem. or so i think.

Quiz seats.

Thats right. My husband and pastor jay are the heros of the day as they have secured for me a set of jumpseats for my quiz team to practice with. if you don't get it...sorry for you. it totally made my day.

For Ryan.

Ok. I'm posting. Geez. you go a few days without a post...so the most important news--sunday was scottie and my anniversary--a whole hand plus one. YAY. we hung out and ate at the roadhouse and just relaxed. then we hung out with joel, and yes--the master that i am--i finally finally won settlers. GO ME. Strategy master. and no matter what--im not playing risk. and no one can make me.

Next, i was tagged. List 6 of your favorite songs of the moment in your own lj, blog, whateva and then tag 6 others to do the same.....
*Beautiful --its from kids camp.
*Popular-from the Wicked soundtrack
*American Dream-Casting Crowns
*Trading my sorrows-kids camp edition
*No one Like you-David Crowder Band
*Revolutionary Love-David Crowder Band
So im having lots of trouble coming up with songs...which should suprise NO ONE. And now its on to Rachel, Joel, Lexa, Randy, Erika, and Stevi.
Have fun all.

And im super excited to go hang out with melanie. even though im stupid and scheduled an interview at the savoy 16 (yes, in champaign) for that night.

I am a master of strategy.

Ok, so the title may be a lie. In fact, most of the time i'm terrible at this kind of game. Especially when playing with joel and scott who happen to be secret masterminds. in fact, right now-they're playing scrabble...and then who knows. But the point is I beat them. At a game I was only playing for the second time. Thats right. we were playing AQUIRE which is like this hotel/stock type game, and yes. I WON. I guess i can say it again as it will never happen again. I WON. I am amazing. Good thing we came to champaign tonite. We met rachel and joel at the theatre and watched SKY HIGH. It was pretty funny. better than i had been told at times--as long as you enjoy obnoxious good fun in a movie.

So right now, we're looking for new jobs. Primarily because mine ends in like 2 weeks, and we want to get out of debt. That being said--i found the most perfect house. It's huge, and it has a nice yard (not huge, but not like just a strip either), and is less than 2 blocks from the grade school. Even though we are looking for new jobs, catlin in itself is a great town, very similar to chebanse, and seems like a good place to raise a family. only 40 minutes from champaign, 3 hours to chicago or st louis and about an hour and a half from indy. Not bad really. and it seems to be growing. not by leaps and bounds or anything, but in a nice small town way. Anyway, unless we get these new better paying jobs really really quickly, im sure someone else will buy the above mentioned home-and how lucky they will be. It looks like it needs a lot of work, but some of the stuff we could do on our own...maybe i need to make an appointment and pretend we are serious so i can see the inside. this will of course only make me fall more in love and eventually break my heart. it even has a basement. No central air though...which of course could be remedied over time...there are a few window air conditioners, and well..with the addition of a ceiling fan or two we could probably survive. I just want so badly to have a house...even if we can't afford it. But we'd be paying a mortgage equal to what we pay in rent...and its got this awesome wrap around porch, and well..its magnificient. If only there was some way to come upon a ton of money--THINK THINK THINK-you can win strategy games..there must be a way...

alright. keep us in your prayers.

the woman at the well.

last week, we talked about extreme makeovers due to encounters with Jesus. I was struck by the woman at the well. The lonely, sinful woman at the well. The one Jesus waited for, and reached out to, and understood in a way no one else ever did. Of course she was transformed. She was broken, and God healed her. She was alone, and God touched her. I spend a lot of my days feeling like this woman-alone, broken and longing for that transforming GOD LOVE. I have an amazing family, a fantastic husband, and awesome friends. But that doesn't stop me from feeling lonely and broken on occasion. Or scared and confused about what happens next. I am glad that God heals and forgives and hugs and waits for us. When we're feeling like no one understands or can even imagine I'm glad that Jesus does.

To all of my friends and loved ones who are unsure about life and about what next week holds...know that you are loved deeply-by me and by our Creator.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Alicia.

The God of peace will soon crush satan...

Oh man! Camp was fantastical. I love camp world. I wish i could live in camp world. i hate the real world. of course, i would want the people i love to be in camp world, but other than that, the real world can take a hike. I had 13 pre-teen girls who are God's beautiful creation. My heart was broken for them, and i would adopt every last one of them if i could. I also learned about some new exciting things going on in the chicago central district-which was good as i was losing hope in them. my return to quizzing, along with God's work in my life are just a few of the wonderful ways that camp world changed me. I came home, and learned that my best friends are moving away. 10 hours away. thats ok. God has a plan for them too, and i hope that they are truly happy with this decision. they will be missed...but its not like its the ends of the earth. besides, if we meet half way--its only 5 hours each--and that can totally be a 2 day trip. So i am really happy for them. im sad, but not nearly as sad as i thought--and to that i credit camp world more than anything. please pray for them as they begin yet another transition and also for my husband, as he is struggling with his job. oh, and me, as i need to find a job. Thats it for now--we're watching SAVED! as it is part of scotts sunday school lesson tomorrow.

CAMP TIME AGAIN!

So monday morning starts kids camp. Don't worry, attendance was lacking last year (immediately after the sale of the campground, go figure) and so they combined boys and girls camps--thus KIDS camp. Heres the thing-we're now turning people away...officially, like we're probably overfull as it is. So is it better to fill every bed and see a profit, or allow every child the opportunity to camp. You know my answer.

In other news, the meadowview got robbed saturday morning while i was the manager. No weapons, no one hurt, just grab and go. its not exciting. i wish it was, cuz otherwise we sound DUMB. Oh well.

Sunday (thats in a few hours after I take my nightly nap) i get new contacts, glasses and im working at meadowview. fun times are ahead i suppose.

EVERYBODY--have a fantastic week. I'm packing for camp, and then i need to sleep.
Love and blessings to all of you!

To all the brokenhearted.

I dedicate this post to anyone who has ever been in a relationship, only to have it end suddenly.

Some of my friends who have been together for a long time (4 years) broke up this week. It has been extremely hard on both of them. I believe that most of the time when a relationship ends, both people at least suspect it-even if it catches them off guard. The trouble being, no matter who ends the relationship, or how easy either of them make it look after the fact, the truth is...it still hurts. Your emotions go into overdrive and every thing the other does (this applies especially to the person being dumped) is magnified. Nothing feels right or good and you feel like it will never be good again. The person being dumped holds on to the image of returning to the relationship, no matter how terrible it really was, they only remember it as happy. My heart hurts right now for my friends, but at the same time, i wish them peace and happiness and the ability to get beyond this and to realize that life does go on, and it will get better. And it helps to remember that prince charming is just a fairy tale, but happily ever after isn't.

I was tagged by sara who has a really fun blog which you should in fact check out.

Ok, I am supposed to take the five blogs listed on her page, move everyone up a notch, and put myself at the bottom. I think i can follow those directions.


1. A Moment In Time
2. Ringmaster Lily
3. Bored housewife
4. Sara
5. *sara*

Ok, Now I am supposed to pick 5 people to do the same.



Scott
Melanie
Joel
Lexa
Sidra (who is missing in action)

Now I (and everyone i tagged if they choose to participate) am supposed to write 5 things I enjoyed about being a kid.


1. Knowing that sitting on my moms lap really did make everything ok.


2. having minutes seem like hours, and having more free time than i knew what to do with.


3. playing in the snow with my brother, digging tunnels through drifts and having hot chocolate ready next to the fire when we came in (yes, my family really was like this)

4. staying up late waiting for dad to come home on fridays and then watching scary tv (like twilight zone or freddy's dreams) while we ate pizza.

5. holidays. all of them. going to chebanse for little leauge and 4th of july fireworks, thanksgiving at gram and papa's and putting up the christmas tree after dinner, christmas eve and christmas day celebrations, birthdays, any time my family was gathered to do or celebrate something. even cookouts where we had corn on the bone and chicken on the cob. or going to the zoo. just having fun being with people who loved me and encouraged me.

**well thats done. Now I need to see about going to the eye doctor. I'd rather not, but what can you do.

A quick recap...

I promise i'll post more later, but as I am afraid of erika not posting ever again if she doesn't have new things to read...here goes. Charlie exceeds expectations, harry is excellent, and my contact tore. i must give in and go to the eye doctor. i really should take better care of myself. oh yeah, and my right gland has been swollen giving me an awesome sore throat for a month now. Go me! Coming soon...i was tagged, i will get to it, some harry commentary-including but not limited to "whats up with aparating in the castle", "Death Eaters, if you can't beat em..."
"The truth about percy (i think he may be gay) weasley" and much much more. so stay tuned. and i agree with melanie. the charlie music is a little modern and crazy..even to the point of not fitting in the new version..while still being fantastic.

a little better

I'm feeling a little better--first of all--Thanks fish for the banner addition. you are a hero among princes or something.

My moms surgery went alright. they put 7 more holes in her leg. she was a little crabby about that, but at least its done with, and she can start radiation.

My husband took my to lunch and cheered me up a bit. then i redecorated my blog (i hope you all like it) and now its nap time.

Check out my new links on the right. and of course, the banner link. hope everyone is having a contented day.

has anyone heard of compassion?

So my mom heads to the hospital in a few hours for surgery. It's a little stressful. Today, on the way home from kankakee, i was totally overcome with sadness over my uncles death (note-it was in november). so i cried. i dont feel better--it didnt change anything. and not to belittle it...Paul. I can't even imagine your pain. your family is in my prayers.

I keep thinking about all of the people who lost their lives last week because a few wackos can't deal with the idea of peace, or of their children being murdered by our guns. Either way. People, with families. So today, we go to watch the all-star game, and the announcer guy asks for a moment of silence for all of the people who died last week in london. I know the number was WAY smaller in london than here, but we paused all of baseball when we were attacked. And the thing is..the idiots can't even keep their mouths shut for like 15 seconds before people start yelling, and so obviously, we start the game. By having some trumpet guys play my country tis of thee, right after our moment of silence---WHAT????? Also, im not sure how a canadian team can become the Nationals but hey--its america anything can happen.

I wish i shared the enthusiasm of others about the upcoming weekend with charlie and harry. sounds like fun. my best friends are moving away. this im sure of. and they probably should. but that doesn't mean i cant be upset about it. and that doesnt mean im not happy for them. but it does mean, i cant really do anything about it, so why dwell...and my mom is sick. and kyle is getting worse. so charlie, harry. i love both of you very much. and i am sure that you will bring me some superficial joy. but im sorry some fictional characters aren't the high points of life.

I AM SO SAD. Pretty much im pathetic. i just want to be happy. thats who i am. i don't do sad well at all. and the best part...i dont even feel like i can talk to anyone about it. why burden others? why make them sad. just get through it. I thought that living closer to rachel and joel would be good for all of us. but theres still this disconnectedness, this sadness. earlier, i heard one of the 2000 blizzard trip songs. the one i hated most. Save tonight fight the break of dawn Come tomorrow Tomorrow I'll be gone.

yeah i cried. the world has changed so much. theres so much anger, and sadness in everyone i know. is it school shootings, terrorism, technology, or impatience? does anyone make Godly decisions anymore? I remember I used to pray "Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God" Thats a little too intense, and if i ever wanted to take back a prayer-its that one. Yeah. im gonna go lay on my couch and cry. don't try and console me. i'll be alright. for the record, im not hormonal. im heartbroken. as we all should be.

Happy 4th of July!!

today is a much better day. ihad fun at work doing absolutely nothing and getting paid more than normal. and everyone else had the same attitude, so that worked out well. i love working with whitney anyway-she brightens my days :) and joe was really fun tonite too..i love to make fun of him about the W BOYS but scretly i think its kinda cool. maybe i'll get a sweatshirt :)

Also, jeremy started work on the website, with my prompting :) go check it out...its www.eccamp.org it'll be much cooler later, but at least y'all can see some of the pictures. I plan on doing captions shortly. Maybe. Any EC camp people interested in doing a fall fundraiser to keep the camp price from going up next year when the district raises the rates (and the campground raises them again too) check there or contact me. more info coming soon.

Scottie will be back to get me soon and then we get to watch war of the worlds and eat with my mom and then i get 2 WHOLE days off where I have absolutely nothing that I have to do. im pretty excited about that. maybe i'll be productive, maybe not.

last night, i got to go to the fireworks with my mom, brother and grandmas. its was a pretty fun time, we got some ice cream, had some laughs. i love fireworks, and i love my family.

depression.

well. im home from camp. that makes me depressed. i hate when camp is over. i wish i lived at ec camp. i mean, maybe get the weekends off, but for the most part, be at ec camp. maybe i should try and work at a sheltered workshop or something. not a group home, but if i could find a special rec program or something. here are the highlights: tons of chapel music. splash valley. pepsi shots. my counselors. the campers. Jesus. Sleeping in the dining hall. hanging out with charles, brian and andy on the couches. nurse april. the trip to chicago. my talk with timmy (im so proud of him). megan visiting. hugs from ashley or lisa l. dancing with lisa b. making the counselors try to figure out impossible verses. chicken nuggets and taco salad. running out of food at lunch. helping in snack shack. learning about the campground. New mattresses? rob falling off the swing. stunt time. going on the roof. not making jeremys bed. ok. so maybe there were too many great things about camp. i got to hang out with melanie, get to know stephanie better, and mary suprisingly. yeah. if you've never been-you should go. if you have been, you should go back. we should have a website and such in a few weeks.

In other more serious news--my mom has skin cancer. its not as serious as it could be, but it is cancer, so it is serious. please pray for my family and my mom as she begins treatment in the next few weeks. the crazy thing is that except for getting bored being home all the time, she's feeling better than she has in a long time.

Also, we changed our cell phone numbers so they were local to the danville area. if you want the new number, email me or comment and i'll get it right to you. sprint doesn't leave a forwarding number so the old ones just don't work anymore.

Scott and i got in a fight today. i hate fighting. its ok now, but it sucked for awhile. its hard to explain how things feel inappropriate, and make me uncomfortable. the biggest thing is respect. its not about trust, its about not putting yourself in a position that makes someone uncomfortable. its hard to explain, and i know that the other person (not scott) thats involved is probably mad at me now, and for that im sorry. i've tried to explain how i feel, and no one seems to understand. if i could go back in time and change everything i would...but i can't. we had come so far, made it all week with no problems...only to be set back again. tell me you're happy for me, tell me its ok to feel the way i do. how would you feel if you were me? i wish we could just talk, but i dont know how. i know you're upset, but i don't understand why you don't respect how i feel. im not asking you to lose a friendship. im asking you to help repair this one. im sorry. it makes me feel worthless and unimportant. maybe thats selfish, maybe its crazy...but getting mad isn't going to change it. in fact, the truth is, getting mad only makes me more upset because then not only do i have these feelings, but i dont understand what the big deal is. my request isnt that outrageous. it only eliminates like 3 places in the whole world. i wish i could make you understand. i had a great time with you this week. i miss hanging out, and it made me wish we lived closer together. i don't know. im rambling, and everyone reading this is probably totally confused. but at least i got it out of my system.

sorry for all the crazy talk. its probably the last two weeks are finally over and i have 2 official days off this week-with no worries about camp, vbs, or weddings. if anyone wants to come to catlin and lay on the couch with me...then give me a call.

***Jesus wept. --John 11:35***

CAMP!!!

So, in just 6 short hours, i'll be at camp!! VBS was fantastic, katies wedding was totally amazing...she was so pretty, and we got to dance all nite..which was great. now we're getting ready for camp...yay yay yay!! I'll be back in a week..with pictures if you're lucky!

Come on in, Everybodys welcome

YAY YAY!!! Vacation Bible school starts in the morning!! I am deeply saddened by the fact that I will only be able to attend the opening as I have to work in kankakee tomorrow--but oh well. At least I get the super fun of the Circle G ranch the rest of the week!! Anyone in the catlin area (yeah, right) should swing on by for a grand time. I'm excited. Tuesday I get to be a Bible Character. That'll be fun. I got to wear the costume today while we decorated! We also got to make a screen for the video, among other fun things at church this evening.

Scotties birthday is in 36 minutes. Thats fun. We celebrated today because i will be gone tomorrow. Hopefully he has a good day anyways...maybe i'll bring him home a suprise. Dear Husband--happy birthday.

Then its KATIES WEDDING!! and sadly, Jacobs goodbye party. But it'll be a good weekend.

AND THEN....

CAMP!!!
Ok, so that'll be fantastic. Jeremy with all of his lovers, chuckie with his bushes, my chapel buddies and of course Cincinatti Christian School. To all counselors---we really need a good prank this year. Be in prayer about that.

**Moviegoer tip of the day: Don't park at the paramount.**

Dear Prince Charming.

I once wrote a series of letters to prince charming. I wasn't seven, or twelve, I was 23. Now I'm 26, and feel the dark days creeping back in. Those letters were the only way I felt I could express myself. The only way to deal with how I felt. I didn't feel that there was anyone who would understand-except of course prince charming. Funny thing about those letters. They were misguided. They were written to a person-not a prince. Today, I want to write another letter-I miss writing. Sometimes it seems that only paper and pencil understand how i feel.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Dear Prince Charming.

Today, i sit here wishing for something different. Wishing that memories held truth and not figments of imagination. Hoping against all hope that it wasn't happening again. I want the memories to be truth. I want to believe in princes and castles and happily ever after. I look though, and find that the memories aren't real-their truth fading as it gains strength. I long for the time when you knew me as the princess and not for what I really was. I wish to believe you to be a prince. Imagine the suprise I felt when I discovered that only in the memory were we ever royalty. I pretending for you, and you for me. Being what you thought a prince should be, instead of revealing your true nature. And me, dancing around, looking foolish in my long gowns made from scraps. Of course we knew the truth but never faced it. If you are reading this letter, you are probably angry that I have revealed who you are, and in doing so revealed that I too, lived in the lie. I wanted so badly to believe in that castle. If you believe a lie long enough, does it become truth in your memory?

I wish I knew the answer.
a wannabe princess.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Now I feel better. Not really. But thats ok. At least I wrote a new letter. Its hard to make them similar to the old ones. After all, nothing stays the same. I remember once, someone suggested I publish the prince charming letters. If I did-probably anyone who bought them would immediately want to kill themselves. But maybe if i could sprinkle in a few amusing stories. And a little more fiction. And if I could find the original letters. Who knows.

**Moviegoer tip of the day: Call the information line if you want to know showtimes. Thats why we have it. Because we don't pay someone to stand next to the phone all day answering all of your questions. Look online, or in the paper. Do something other than call our office line. Seriously. Don't call the theatre. Call the hotline. 1-800-FANDANGO works for almost anywhere!!**

i got a rose from a cute boy.

YAY. Most of you are probably thinking about how sweet my husband is--but it wasn't him. It was my cute little Max from paramount. He made my day. Theres a long story surrounding it, but it still made me smile.

In other NEWS--I went to get the info on the Masters Professional Counseling -school counseling concentration. Thats right folks. We're gonna go ahead and sink another 20,000 into a quality olivet education. But hey--at least i'll finally be able to get a job that I really want. And classes are only one night a week..so thats happy too. Maybe someday i'll even pay off the millions of dollars of debt (hopefully before retirement!).

I miss scottie. we got in a big fight today and now i wish i was at home to cuddle. i think part of the fighting is being far away. and the fact that we need money so i have to work up here and down there to get some bills paid. its not like we're super crazy in debt, but still...we need to get it paid off. Especially before the fall when finances might not be so easy to come by.

Today, on the radio, they played SHINE-by the Newsboys. It reminded me of NYC 95. That was 10 years ago this summer. Could we have even imagined how we would end up then? Its just crazy. Its where alicia and i developed a love for Tony campolo, among other things.

**moviegoer tip of the day** never slam your refill on the counter. it only makes it more likely you will get poor service. Its not our fault your piggy family made you come out for the refill. Be mad at them, not us. And don't tell us to hurry. The pop only dispenses so quickly.

Ah, butter.

So, i suck. double-checked shannons order--both of us forgot to order butter...but funny thing..i tried to take the blame, and apparently shannon had already blamed me (not knowing i had double checked/revised hers) she just sent in my original order--which wasn't complete..i had just started it for her on saturday to be nice. So there ya go. sherrie wouldn't let me take the blame for being an idiot...since shannon was already trying to blame me.

Oh, and a car got STOLEN from the paramount lot tonight. I swear its safe...i don't know what that was all about. so much for business.

Umm..other news. I saw aunt renee and kyle today. that made me smile. kyle had a funny haircut..its short, and combed...which is totally not how i have ever seen him. shes turned into a serious type kid..that makes me sad. i totally love them...

**Moviegoer tip of the day: If a place is nice enough to offer refills, you should be nice enough to wait in line for them, and not cut the line, demanding your refill. Its all about sharing. Let the people who don't have any delicious buttery popcorn get some before you get seconds, or thirds, or whatever.**

Paul tagged me with this meme. I have to answer 3. I might do a few more. It seems fun and why not? i mean i do have 2 days off :)

The "questions": If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...If I could be an actor...If I could be a criminal...

My answers:

If I could be a missionary...i would go to africa and take care of the aids orphans, educating a new generation to take care of themselves and break the cycle of disease.

If I could be a psychologist...i would change the current trend of blaming everything on self-esteem and teach kids how to stand up for themselves in the world.

If I could be an athlete...i would probably be a swimmer, because i think its cool and well, at least i wouldn't get smelly from sweat..i would be in the water.

If I could be an actor...i would of course try and be a jedi. Or maybe be on the disney channel. yeah. that would be cool. besides, if i worked for disney i could go free right?

If I could be could be a writer...i would write books that were full of fun and fantasy, but not crazy fantasy, with deeper meanings so people of all ages could enjoy them.

Now I have to pick three people to tag. I think i will pick 6-sure its breaking the rules..but i dont care. Let's see: Scottie, Rachel, Melanie, Cynthia, Gina and Alicia. Yeah. thats a good number.

**Moviegoer tip of the day: When you wait in line for concession, use the time wisely-deciding on your order and getting your money ready. If everyone does this, the line will move twice as fast, and you won't take out your impatience on the poor minimum wage kid behind the counter. It's not his fault the lady in front of you and her five kids took 15 minutes to order.**

I'm gonna wipe your face off your head.

yep. thats right. and i'll do it to. Don't test me. In other more happy news--Scotties home. That makes me super duper happy.

*tip of the day to moviegoers: do NOT ask the staff if they are having fun. Until that question, they were. Also, if you don't like sticky floors, i suggest you don't spill your crap all over the floor. If you have free time please consider attending a new class being offered every tuesday at the paramount: how to eat popcorn -here's a preview--bucket to mouth. bucket to mouth. not shirt. not floor. bucket to mouth.

I'm off to work--which, yes. I think is fun. Have a nice day. Go to a park, eat out.

oh those crazy sith.

So, i finally came home from paramount. I watched episode 3...who knew anakin was really darth vader? i mean really--i was TOTALLY shocked. ask anyone who watched it with me. Its a decent film-you should see it. In like 4 weeks when the lines start to die down a little. I got to be interviewed for the radio and i got the ropes all set up fun at the paramount. Man i love this job. however, i am totally exhausted and if i have to tell one more person that auditorium one is sold out..i might die, but such is the way. we have officially sold over 1000 seats just for tomorrow night..with at least 200 still available. There are people camping out in front of our theatre. they're pretty fun...i hung out with them a bit (i let them come in and warm up) while i was setting up ropes. So thats a little fun.

The more fun part is that i got to see rachel and joel at least for a bit as they came to our preview. YAY for that. Its gonna be a long summer with all our crazy work schedules.

I miss scottie lots and lots. I called him at like 9 tonite...because i hadn't talked to him all day--which is funny because i talked to him like 4 times on monday. Sigh. At least im up here with people i know and like at work and HOME! We'll be back together (hopefully if the plane goes on time) in 91 hours, mmm...kisses.

I need to rest. If you need me, Im at paramount. thats right...just call 815-93-MOVIE! (of course its a recording, did you think i had time to talk?)

the events of this last week.

Lets see, Sunday we went to kankakee for mothers day and then went out with melanie, megan and ryan. it was fun--but not something i think anyone would want to do every night. I really enjoyed talking with melanie in the car more than anything...Monday I worked with Jessica and Julia--so that was super fun...TUESDAY was a really really fun day (man, im writing like a second grader) I got up early, stopped at moms for coffee and then shannon and i went to the WMMS meeting--the meeting sucked--but we got to play bumper cars, laser tag and dance dance...so that was lots of fun. Then i visited mel which was as usual a good time. Got home, took a shower=and then Jen got here...we went to gross burger--watched the upside of anger-which by the way is a fantastic movie--better than all of us expected. wednesday we (jen, scott, me) went to homer for some pop then to champaign to get my shoes for the wedding and other random things. I'm off all weekend so if anyone wants to stop on by--give me a call. Sunday afternoon i have to take scott to the airport. im stayin at my parents, and working all week at classic cinemas...im totally excited about that because they've already sold like 600 seats to the midnite of star wars....so thats my bit of rambling. hope everyone else had a good week too ;)