Saturday, July 30, 2005

The God of peace will soon crush satan...

Oh man! Camp was fantastical. I love camp world. I wish i could live in camp world. i hate the real world. of course, i would want the people i love to be in camp world, but other than that, the real world can take a hike. I had 13 pre-teen girls who are God's beautiful creation. My heart was broken for them, and i would adopt every last one of them if i could. I also learned about some new exciting things going on in the chicago central district-which was good as i was losing hope in them. my return to quizzing, along with God's work in my life are just a few of the wonderful ways that camp world changed me. I came home, and learned that my best friends are moving away. 10 hours away. thats ok. God has a plan for them too, and i hope that they are truly happy with this decision. they will be missed...but its not like its the ends of the earth. besides, if we meet half way--its only 5 hours each--and that can totally be a 2 day trip. So i am really happy for them. im sad, but not nearly as sad as i thought--and to that i credit camp world more than anything. please pray for them as they begin yet another transition and also for my husband, as he is struggling with his job. oh, and me, as i need to find a job. Thats it for now--we're watching SAVED! as it is part of scotts sunday school lesson tomorrow.

Sunday, July 24, 2005


So monday morning starts kids camp. Don't worry, attendance was lacking last year (immediately after the sale of the campground, go figure) and so they combined boys and girls camps--thus KIDS camp. Heres the thing-we're now turning people away...officially, like we're probably overfull as it is. So is it better to fill every bed and see a profit, or allow every child the opportunity to camp. You know my answer.

In other news, the meadowview got robbed saturday morning while i was the manager. No weapons, no one hurt, just grab and go. its not exciting. i wish it was, cuz otherwise we sound DUMB. Oh well.

Sunday (thats in a few hours after I take my nightly nap) i get new contacts, glasses and im working at meadowview. fun times are ahead i suppose.

EVERYBODY--have a fantastic week. I'm packing for camp, and then i need to sleep.
Love and blessings to all of you!

Friday, July 22, 2005

To all the brokenhearted.

I dedicate this post to anyone who has ever been in a relationship, only to have it end suddenly.

Some of my friends who have been together for a long time (4 years) broke up this week. It has been extremely hard on both of them. I believe that most of the time when a relationship ends, both people at least suspect it-even if it catches them off guard. The trouble being, no matter who ends the relationship, or how easy either of them make it look after the fact, the truth still hurts. Your emotions go into overdrive and every thing the other does (this applies especially to the person being dumped) is magnified. Nothing feels right or good and you feel like it will never be good again. The person being dumped holds on to the image of returning to the relationship, no matter how terrible it really was, they only remember it as happy. My heart hurts right now for my friends, but at the same time, i wish them peace and happiness and the ability to get beyond this and to realize that life does go on, and it will get better. And it helps to remember that prince charming is just a fairy tale, but happily ever after isn't.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I was tagged by sara who has a really fun blog which you should in fact check out.

Ok, I am supposed to take the five blogs listed on her page, move everyone up a notch, and put myself at the bottom. I think i can follow those directions.

1. A Moment In Time
2. Ringmaster Lily
3. Bored housewife
4. Sara
5. *sara*

Ok, Now I am supposed to pick 5 people to do the same.

Sidra (who is missing in action)

Now I (and everyone i tagged if they choose to participate) am supposed to write 5 things I enjoyed about being a kid.

1. Knowing that sitting on my moms lap really did make everything ok.

2. having minutes seem like hours, and having more free time than i knew what to do with.

3. playing in the snow with my brother, digging tunnels through drifts and having hot chocolate ready next to the fire when we came in (yes, my family really was like this)

4. staying up late waiting for dad to come home on fridays and then watching scary tv (like twilight zone or freddy's dreams) while we ate pizza.

5. holidays. all of them. going to chebanse for little leauge and 4th of july fireworks, thanksgiving at gram and papa's and putting up the christmas tree after dinner, christmas eve and christmas day celebrations, birthdays, any time my family was gathered to do or celebrate something. even cookouts where we had corn on the bone and chicken on the cob. or going to the zoo. just having fun being with people who loved me and encouraged me.

**well thats done. Now I need to see about going to the eye doctor. I'd rather not, but what can you do.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

A quick recap...

I promise i'll post more later, but as I am afraid of erika not posting ever again if she doesn't have new things to goes. Charlie exceeds expectations, harry is excellent, and my contact tore. i must give in and go to the eye doctor. i really should take better care of myself. oh yeah, and my right gland has been swollen giving me an awesome sore throat for a month now. Go me! Coming soon...i was tagged, i will get to it, some harry commentary-including but not limited to "whats up with aparating in the castle", "Death Eaters, if you can't beat em..."
"The truth about percy (i think he may be gay) weasley" and much much more. so stay tuned. and i agree with melanie. the charlie music is a little modern and crazy..even to the point of not fitting in the new version..while still being fantastic.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

a little better

I'm feeling a little better--first of all--Thanks fish for the banner addition. you are a hero among princes or something.

My moms surgery went alright. they put 7 more holes in her leg. she was a little crabby about that, but at least its done with, and she can start radiation.

My husband took my to lunch and cheered me up a bit. then i redecorated my blog (i hope you all like it) and now its nap time.

Check out my new links on the right. and of course, the banner link. hope everyone is having a contented day.

has anyone heard of compassion?

So my mom heads to the hospital in a few hours for surgery. It's a little stressful. Today, on the way home from kankakee, i was totally overcome with sadness over my uncles death (note-it was in november). so i cried. i dont feel better--it didnt change anything. and not to belittle it...Paul. I can't even imagine your pain. your family is in my prayers.

I keep thinking about all of the people who lost their lives last week because a few wackos can't deal with the idea of peace, or of their children being murdered by our guns. Either way. People, with families. So today, we go to watch the all-star game, and the announcer guy asks for a moment of silence for all of the people who died last week in london. I know the number was WAY smaller in london than here, but we paused all of baseball when we were attacked. And the thing is..the idiots can't even keep their mouths shut for like 15 seconds before people start yelling, and so obviously, we start the game. By having some trumpet guys play my country tis of thee, right after our moment of silence---WHAT????? Also, im not sure how a canadian team can become the Nationals but hey--its america anything can happen.

I wish i shared the enthusiasm of others about the upcoming weekend with charlie and harry. sounds like fun. my best friends are moving away. this im sure of. and they probably should. but that doesn't mean i cant be upset about it. and that doesnt mean im not happy for them. but it does mean, i cant really do anything about it, so why dwell...and my mom is sick. and kyle is getting worse. so charlie, harry. i love both of you very much. and i am sure that you will bring me some superficial joy. but im sorry some fictional characters aren't the high points of life.

I AM SO SAD. Pretty much im pathetic. i just want to be happy. thats who i am. i don't do sad well at all. and the best part...i dont even feel like i can talk to anyone about it. why burden others? why make them sad. just get through it. I thought that living closer to rachel and joel would be good for all of us. but theres still this disconnectedness, this sadness. earlier, i heard one of the 2000 blizzard trip songs. the one i hated most. Save tonight fight the break of dawn Come tomorrow Tomorrow I'll be gone.

yeah i cried. the world has changed so much. theres so much anger, and sadness in everyone i know. is it school shootings, terrorism, technology, or impatience? does anyone make Godly decisions anymore? I remember I used to pray "Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God" Thats a little too intense, and if i ever wanted to take back a prayer-its that one. Yeah. im gonna go lay on my couch and cry. don't try and console me. i'll be alright. for the record, im not hormonal. im heartbroken. as we all should be.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Happy 4th of July!!

today is a much better day. ihad fun at work doing absolutely nothing and getting paid more than normal. and everyone else had the same attitude, so that worked out well. i love working with whitney anyway-she brightens my days :) and joe was really fun tonite too..i love to make fun of him about the W BOYS but scretly i think its kinda cool. maybe i'll get a sweatshirt :)

Also, jeremy started work on the website, with my prompting :) go check it out...its it'll be much cooler later, but at least y'all can see some of the pictures. I plan on doing captions shortly. Maybe. Any EC camp people interested in doing a fall fundraiser to keep the camp price from going up next year when the district raises the rates (and the campground raises them again too) check there or contact me. more info coming soon.

Scottie will be back to get me soon and then we get to watch war of the worlds and eat with my mom and then i get 2 WHOLE days off where I have absolutely nothing that I have to do. im pretty excited about that. maybe i'll be productive, maybe not.

last night, i got to go to the fireworks with my mom, brother and grandmas. its was a pretty fun time, we got some ice cream, had some laughs. i love fireworks, and i love my family.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


well. im home from camp. that makes me depressed. i hate when camp is over. i wish i lived at ec camp. i mean, maybe get the weekends off, but for the most part, be at ec camp. maybe i should try and work at a sheltered workshop or something. not a group home, but if i could find a special rec program or something. here are the highlights: tons of chapel music. splash valley. pepsi shots. my counselors. the campers. Jesus. Sleeping in the dining hall. hanging out with charles, brian and andy on the couches. nurse april. the trip to chicago. my talk with timmy (im so proud of him). megan visiting. hugs from ashley or lisa l. dancing with lisa b. making the counselors try to figure out impossible verses. chicken nuggets and taco salad. running out of food at lunch. helping in snack shack. learning about the campground. New mattresses? rob falling off the swing. stunt time. going on the roof. not making jeremys bed. ok. so maybe there were too many great things about camp. i got to hang out with melanie, get to know stephanie better, and mary suprisingly. yeah. if you've never been-you should go. if you have been, you should go back. we should have a website and such in a few weeks.

In other more serious news--my mom has skin cancer. its not as serious as it could be, but it is cancer, so it is serious. please pray for my family and my mom as she begins treatment in the next few weeks. the crazy thing is that except for getting bored being home all the time, she's feeling better than she has in a long time.

Also, we changed our cell phone numbers so they were local to the danville area. if you want the new number, email me or comment and i'll get it right to you. sprint doesn't leave a forwarding number so the old ones just don't work anymore.

Scott and i got in a fight today. i hate fighting. its ok now, but it sucked for awhile. its hard to explain how things feel inappropriate, and make me uncomfortable. the biggest thing is respect. its not about trust, its about not putting yourself in a position that makes someone uncomfortable. its hard to explain, and i know that the other person (not scott) thats involved is probably mad at me now, and for that im sorry. i've tried to explain how i feel, and no one seems to understand. if i could go back in time and change everything i would...but i can't. we had come so far, made it all week with no problems...only to be set back again. tell me you're happy for me, tell me its ok to feel the way i do. how would you feel if you were me? i wish we could just talk, but i dont know how. i know you're upset, but i don't understand why you don't respect how i feel. im not asking you to lose a friendship. im asking you to help repair this one. im sorry. it makes me feel worthless and unimportant. maybe thats selfish, maybe its crazy...but getting mad isn't going to change it. in fact, the truth is, getting mad only makes me more upset because then not only do i have these feelings, but i dont understand what the big deal is. my request isnt that outrageous. it only eliminates like 3 places in the whole world. i wish i could make you understand. i had a great time with you this week. i miss hanging out, and it made me wish we lived closer together. i don't know. im rambling, and everyone reading this is probably totally confused. but at least i got it out of my system.

sorry for all the crazy talk. its probably the last two weeks are finally over and i have 2 official days off this week-with no worries about camp, vbs, or weddings. if anyone wants to come to catlin and lay on the couch with me...then give me a call.

***Jesus wept. --John 11:35***