Thursday, December 30, 2004
3 names you go by:
2. One T
3 screennames you have:
3.what do you think I am-some kind of computer dork?
3 things you like about yourself:
1. my eyes
2. sense of humor
3 things you dislike about yourself:
1. i worry constantly about stuff
2. my fat tummy
3 parts of your heritage:
only 3? good luck.
3 things that scare you:
1. the dark
3. semi-trucks, water parks, big cement dividers on highways, large snakes, choking...
3 everyday essentials:
3 things you're wearing right now:
1. snowflake undies
2. black pants
3. white shirt
3 favorite bands/artists
1. FM static
2. New Kids on the block
3 favorite songs at present:
1. My own Prison -Creed
2. Lord move, or move me -FFH
3. best day ever-spongebob soundtrack (ok, so maybe its a crappy song, but it gives me happy memories about work!)
3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. pay off credit cards (yeah right-it'd be a great new thing to try!)
3. getting a job not at a theatre that i like...
3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given)
1. I have scottie. He's the best (see a previous post) I want nothing else.
2 truths and a lie:
1. i'm insecure
2. i cry easily (really really easily)
3. i love kokomo
3 physical things about the opposite sex (or same) that appeal to you:
3. hair (or lack of...?)
3 things you just can’t do:
1. reach the top shelf
3. get out of bed on time (I just hate it so much!)
3 favorite hobbies:
3. playing video games
3 things you want to do really badly right now:
1. drink some tea (my throat hurts)
2. see stevi.
3. change clothes
3 careers you’re considering:
1. children's pastor
2. school psychologist
3. theatre manager
3 places you want to go on vacation:
1. Disney World
2. Disney Land
3. On a cruise (a disney cruise to be exact!)
3 names for kids (boy or girl):
3. ?? ??
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. get out of debt
2. write a book
3. go back to school...depending on career choice above.
Three people who have to take this quiz now:
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
Next, we visited rachel and joel for joels birthday and that was delicious fun. They will be here friday night late to celebrate the holidays.
Also, VBS is over, and apparently, while I planned for 60 I didn't ever need to because Megan confessed to me this week that they had between 25-30 last year--not 50. I averaged 40 or so, so thats great. Also, the Live Nativity was a sucess (no ice or freezing rain).
this week, the harmony ringers (my kids bells) will be playing at Northwestern middle school. It's gonna be fun, because then we get to stay for the christmas parties afterwords :) then thursday we have musical rehearsal and friday is the musical where i am doing the sermon...yay for me. i love my job when i actually get to spend time with my kids.
last friday, jen and i (thats my friend) played in the moonwalk after VBS and then went over to adams to watch poker night. it was amusing if nothing else because of all the random people who were there, including jeremiah the pretzel time guy who brings us smoothies.
Katie (our music director) got me a nativity for Christmas as kind of a joke, and it pretty much made my day. then I worked and jen and i took apart a projector trying to fix it, and while we didn't actually fix it, the problem seemed to not be so bad. i think its our ghost fred. then youth group, where the kids and scott played in the moonwalk. then scottie and i came home and i watched the wizard of oz. i fell alseep-so we didn't go see lemony snicket. but then we made a gingerbread train and watched harry potter...that was pretty tasty fun, but a little harder than we imagined.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Today is the one month anniversary of my uncles death. Scott and I went and saw Christmas with the Kranks (I cried--but the book was better) and Oceans 12 (I didnt get it) and he made me smile. I also had a cherry frost icee from target with Jen. I'm thankful for new friends. She consoled me over icees as I relayed my sadness-its so nice to finally have a friend.
Tuesday we get to see rachel and joel. YIPEE!!! I am so happy. (PS-today is joels birthday)
Anyway, Scotties great. And yeah. Im lucky.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
9 things I want to do before I die
1. Have children (at least one)
2. further my education (christian ed or psychology)
3. go on a cruise
4. Be ordained as a Children's Pastor in the Church of the Nazarene.
5. get out of debt-seriously
6. own a house
7. Read and understand at least one philosophy book
8. visit europe..(get over my flying over the ocean fear)
9. write a book
8 things I'm wearing
2. pink hoodie
3. Underwears -cute christmas star underwear to be exact!
4. Plaque on my teeth (I need to brush)
6. pony tail holder
7. wedding ring
8. favorite jeans
7 things on my mind
1. moving away, specifically praying for crown point
2. quitting my hell job at church
3. going back to school
4. visiting family next week.
5. my head itches.
6. i hate dry skin
7. my parents are on their way home from vacation right now
6 things I touch every day
3. the couch
4. A keyboard
5. my purse
6. the fridge
5 things I do every day
1. kiss scottie
2. watch tv
3. Complain about working at church
4. check email
5. put on deodorant
4 songs on my mind
1. Santa Claus Lane -Hilary Duff
2. Smallville theme
3. Bring it On -from our childrens musical
4. Lord Move, or Move me -FFH
3 things I think of when I wake up
1. do i really need to shower
2. do i have to go to church today?
3. i can sleep for 9 more minutes
My 2 favorite foods
1. Taco bell pop
2. the chicken at don ponchos
1 person I love more than any other
1. its really hard just to pick one person...especially with everything happening in my family lately--obviously scottie because he's amazing...but everyone in my family ties for a close 2nd
This cute little survey was way harder than I imagined, or its just too early in the morning. anyhow--have a great day all!
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Scott knows its getting bad. he brought me flowers last night to make me cheered. It worked a little. I love him, and i know that its hard for him to see me so sad when there isnt anything he can do about it. Things at his job are getting worse too--he now has to work between 3 different houses to try and get 40 hours. Its crazy stupid, and I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better about it. He finally found a job he doesn't mind so much--and they just keep shuffling him around.
It just seems like things won't ever get better. We pray a lot about crown point, about getting out of here, about going anywhere else. Today, I felt like calling joel and rachel to see if they could get us jobs--but with all of our bills, those jobs just wouldn't cut it. I feel like we're drowning. THere isn't anyone at all here that we can confide in, anyone to share our hopes or our fears with. Its incredibly hard. The only bright spot in this day will be that its tuesday--and thats a quality tv day for me (veronica mars, SVU, and judging amy). I haven't watched this much tv in years...like since probably the summer of my 6th grade year. ALL I DO is watch tv. Maybe its my fault that things suck so badly here. If only there was more to hope for.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Saturday, November 20, 2004
The other great thing about movie theatres--for the most part--you can meet some really great people. We've been in Kokomo six months..had only one person (not even the pastor) invite us for dinner, and we pretty much have no friends. I have been at the theatre for a little over a month...and already, I have made friends. Is that a little crazy to anyone else? No friends at church, but friends at the minimum wage part time job? THis also allows me to believe that perhaps working in a theatre is my destiny--my greater purpose, ya know. that sort of thing. I know its not conducive to having children, and someday, im sure that i will want to--and so i should be doing things to get me experience in other fields..but lets be honest. I WANT to work at the theatre. It's just fun. I mean, when its bad-its usually really bad--but even then...i'd rather do that than meet with the pastor. EH??
We also talked about the fire drills (indiana law requires us to practice once every six weeks) we determined that since it is a minimum wage job, if the building truly was on fire, we would just quit rather than go through the drill, because lets be honest...if the fires that big, are we really going to have any place to work? why risk our lives? *we were told that leaving or not doing as practiced during the drill would result in the loss of our jobs.
In other news, I am still considering going into grief counseling. Ya know, working with kids like my cousin who have lost a parent, or other things. I used to want to do child psychology, but didnt think that there was much market for it...but I really think kids today have it rough...and I think that i would be really good at it. I could be wrong, but I love kids, and I think I relate pretty well...I just don't really know how to do it I guess.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
i am so happy to be going home. Sure, its only for a few hours, but i will see my family, and rachel and joel are coming up, and we will be previewing the ever anticipated polar express. yay for christmas. So happy. So happy i can't even sleep.
So, someone hit my car. in a parking lot. and did a ton of damage. it was a lot worse than we thought-but my ever fantastic insurance company who i am sure is tired of talking to me is fixing it. they're even fixing things i didnt know had been damaged, so its good that for once i am actually getting it taken care of. its a big hit financially even to pay the deductible-leaving me wondering if we will ever even come close to getting out of debt. Heres the funny thing though. i love my focus. i love smaller cars. small cars with lots of space are great. i do not like big cars at all. but my insurance is paying for the rental. they gave me a 2005 ford escape. no matter how cute this car may be, im not really an suv type girl. while this is kind of a mini-suv--the fact remains, i would have chosen to downgrade to mid-size or economy having been given the option. but it will be fun for the week...kind of like an adventure. and its not as scary as i thought. i kind of like it. but i love my focus.
Thats the news folks. remember, christmas trees can't go up until the day after thanksgiving, no matter how tempting all the great decorations look.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Of course, there's always champaign, as Rachel informed me that there will be several management positions opening up at her theatre in the coming months. How typical would that be...for us to just run away from any kind of challenge and go to champaign, be with rachel and joel (who I love dearly and would LOVE to be with) and work at a theatre and rubys. why--it would be just like kankakee all over again--with only joel really working towards a goal. But we'd be happy. maybe its a fair trade.
Sunday I had a halloween party for my kids. It was pretty fun-better than I expected. I had about 25 kids show up, so since it was fall break weekend, that wasn't too bad at all. What I still don't understand is how if our high end attendance is 40, how we manage 120 kids at Vacation Bible school. That seems a little off. I had some random non-church people asking me about Christmas VBS-not a bad idea, but to me right now-it translates into free babysitting and seems to be a real hassle. We're doing it though...God bless the shoppers.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Another thing I hate. How sloppy I have gotten with my grammar. I couldn't write a paper if I tried. I know its bad. But I don't correct it. (notice the preposition starting previous sentence).
If I would get my lazy self out of bed, and work on proper grammar I could be a writer. Chances are, I'll probably just lay in bed letting my creativity leak out into the dark silence, lost forever to that place before dreams. It's sad. Kind of like something dying a slow painful death. I used to want to be a writer. Now, its kind of like one of those things i might someday get around to...which means I won't. Especially with my ideas pouring out into who knows where.
Dear imagination, may you rest in peace.
Here's Something I love. My husband. He's terrific. He cleans the house, does laundry...takes really great care of me in this crazy strange place. We have fun together, and he makes me laugh, even when I'm sad or grumpy. He also lets me watch SVU and Judging Amy. That alone is enough to be grateful. Anyway, he's great. and I love him.
Happy birthday paul.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
In happier news--i start my theatre job on friday. Yay. At least it will get me out and make me happy...even stupid customers are better than Bud. Bring on the madness of a kids film any day.
PLEASE PLEASE pray that we can get out of here-or at least out of the church.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Anyway, here are the reasons we should stay:
1. The Harshmans. Great family-they really need loved. They weren't at church today,
and well, it made me sad.
2. Who needs friends?
3. Someone needs to tell this church about Jesus. Seriously. Our music director may be
quitting for many of the same reasons-and she grew up in this church. To quote her "These
people who call themselves christians need to take a good hard look in the mirror and grow
up" Staff-parish is making her direct the christmas cantata. Even though she resigned from
4. That really great theatre job.
5. fazolis, sonic, chili's, yogi's pizza.
6. I enjoy discouragement and being lectured on a regular basis by someone who eh...lets
not even talk about it.
7. I just got my license here, why pay $15 dollars for a new one somewhere else?
I have a list of reasons we should go too, but I'm trying to be positive.
What happened is this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.
So God said, in effect, "if that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshipped the god they made instead of the God who made them-the God we bless, the God who blesses us. -Romans 1:21-25 The Message
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Dear Dear corinthians (you can substitute your name-nifty eh?), I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I am speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!
Anyway--I'm glad to be home. We had a ton of messages--we get to vote on Bud's salary tuesday night at a church council meeting (boy howdy..i wish my vote counted!!) and I also found out that we are having a luncheon for our secretary-she apparently is leaving. Can't say that I blame her--but now's not the time for that discussion.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Have a good week all. I'll try to check in on friday if we have time. :)
And now its time to go to the airport--the adventure awaits!!
Sunday, October 03, 2004
We had a fish fry at church tonite, much to my suprise it was pretty fun. I'm even glad I went. The pastors wife dumped her duty on me (she went to get a drink and NEVER came back!) but thats no suprise. She didn't know where half of the stuff went when we were cleaning up, and they've been at the church over a year. Come on now--even I know where the potholders are. Tomorrow, my lesson is on families helping each other, and we are talking about how Aaron helped Moses. My plan for the afternoon and monday morning is to draw diagrams of each room so that when people use them, they know how to put stuff back. because thats my biggest problem of the week. People re-arranging rooms and not putting stuff back.
I am very happy for my dear rachel, who has taken another job and will be leaving the classic cinemas realm. It is an exciting and sad time. Of course-she took a theatre job--and she is CAPABLE of so much more...(rach-you might still want to look into substitute teaching as supplimentary income-thats a good second job) but thats ok. Following her lead to become a real theatre lifer, even outside of the world of CC, I have an informal interview monday at one of our local theatres. Fantastic. I'm excited, because like Rachel, I am comfortable doing that. Why look for a second job i might hate (or like). I know I like working at the theatre for the most part--so we'll see. Maybe monday I will change my mind. But I am glad for rachel, as I was worried that winter would come and she would still be driving in the snow and whatnot. Not fun.
To anyone who cares-I love religious freedoms as much as all my other freedoms. Of course, the peanut gallery in my head still doesn't care and well...my vote is still undecided.
Point to Ponder: We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
Friday, October 01, 2004
It was pretty fabulous.
Another positive--the pastor is in Florida helping hurricane people...and he won't be back until last sunday and we leave on monday. I haven't seen him since sunday, and if all goes as planned i won't have to see him until we get back from Dallas. And then, HOPEFULLY he or i will have a better attitude.
I am also packing for Dallas. I know we don't leave until monday-but I will actually be working saturday evening and all day sunday...so why not do it now. Besides, my wonderful husband is doing laundry, so I say pack it while its clean.
I watched the presidental debate for like 10 minutes. This is what I got. Bush trying to create freedom by freeing IRAQ and Kerry saying "I can do it better". Let's be honest. I've seen monkeys "do it better". It was pretty ridiculous, and we all know how political minded I am, so I changed the channel and watched Seinfeld instead (Big hoorah to non-network channels not airing the debate!).
So that was pretty much my day. The best day I have had in a long time, with no headache, sore throat, or bleh feeling at all. It was just like the first week or two here when I still had hope. Sounds like a pretty ordinary day-but hey-its the little things, right?
Oh sweet Dallas. 97 hours and 48 minutes. Maybe someone will offer my husband a job :)
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
I have nothing interesting or profound to say at all, but since someone can't live without me, I decided to go ahead and post. Thats right. It's all for my public.
I went to a childrens ministry leadership conference on Saturday. It was a lot of fun, but everything we talked about I already knew. It makes me think I should go into business, or engineering, or politics even--something I don't understand so well so that I could be challenged. Not that my job isn't challenging, but really the actual job-not so much. It's all the other people (parents, the pastor, youth leader) that make my job unlikable. I do have allies though-its not all gloom and destruction.
In other news, sunday the youth group went paintballing. I watched. It scares me to play. Plus it costs a lot of money that we don't have. Next week we are watching a movie and playing football if the weather is nice. That is much more to my liking.
The pastor set hours for me 10-1 everyday. Well, its 1:00 on tuesday and I haven't been to work since sunday. Oh well. Thursday I have to go in at 9, so we'll say that makes up for it.
I have resumed my neopets playing with a new neopet thanks to my brother joel and his love of neopia.
If you're still reading-here's the profound thought-not mine-Tony Campolo's. Taken from a book he wrote in the early 1980's: We need a prophet who will weep for America, who will stir us to a memory of what we were meant to be, who will reach into our collective consciousness and who will draw out of it the sorrowful memory of the real American dream. Such a prophet will not only weep floods of tears for America but will also teach us to weep. In that weeping lies our only hope, because it is the weeping that can break the numbness of our hearts and minds. It is the grieving that can teach us how to feel again.
Tony Campolo has since been deemed a modern prophet. He said all of this stuff 20 years ago. Today, no one is looking it up, and of course, as the presidental election gets closer, no one is weeping. So there you have it. I posted.
Friday, September 24, 2004
I say all of that to say, being a christian is part of who I am...the same as having blue eyes. I don't think anyone is intimidated based on eye color alone--the shape, shading, and other characteristics maybe..but not on color alone (unless that color is something way crazy)
I guess I feel like to be intimidated by me, you would have had to have put me on a pedestal. Well, I hope that I have fallen from it. If I haven't--I will. And then all you've ever believed about me, and about my faith will be worthless. I know. I have seen it happen. See, I did something bad. I destroyed a friendship with someone who was very important to me, and I did it for a boy. Not my husband. a different boy. A boy who makes no difference now. And that friendship is destroyed. Did I do it on purpose? Maybe. Maybe not. I don't really know. I do know that no amount of apologies, or attempts to reconnect will ever make things the way they were-better or worse..they will never be the same. I won't be on a pedestal-thats for sure. I failed someone at a time when they probably needed me most. And I will always regret it-but that doesn't change it.
Every christian person does it. They let people see all the good in them. They hide the bad..for fear of judgement, not being a good witness, or whatever. It's like..sinning doesn't stop existing for the christian..it just becomes a secret.
I guess I am a little frustrated. Talking about God makes people uncomfortable. Some of my closest friends have no problems writing out their feelings for me to read and comment on at my leisure, but at the same time, if we were face to face...there is no way they (or I) would willingly have a serious conversation about God outside of a Bible study/church setting.
Don't worry--christians are intimidated by nonchristians too...they fear people who drink, smoke, have sex, or swear. Mainly because they don't know what to do, or say. Christians become afraid to say what they think, because well..if it offends someone...
To be honest-Jesus was offensive. He loved people in a way that was unheard of...he broke thousands of rules, just so he could keep right on loving. I want to be offensive that way. I can't. There are too many people I have hurt or let down, people who are either afraid to trust me, or afraid to trust what I believe in. To those people I am sorry. I screwed up. Not Jesus. To say that I won't do it again would be a lie.
The truth is simple. Jesus loves you more deeply, powerfully and sincerely than you can ever imagine. It isn't cliche, it isn't offensive. It's love. It's something most of us barely recognize, because we have all been wounded so deeply we fear the pain won't ever stop haunting us. My heart breaks...and it breaks specifically today for those of you who don't know Jesus. And for those of you who are lonely. And for those of you who feel lost. Jesus loves you. Jesus loves me. Did I mention Jesus loves you? Wait. what? Jesus loves you. The person reading this right now--you. Jesus loves you. Whether you believe it or not. It's true. and nothing you can do will change that. it's not a failing kind of love--like I love you...but I let you down. It's unstoppable, unbreakable love. It can take anything...anything. Jesus loves you.
For those of you who just visited for the first time...I don't always ramble on like this. I can be upbeat, and fun...but today...this was my burden. If that makes me a religious fanatic...so be it.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Megan called today-we had a good chat. Funny how you miss people at the most random times. I fear that Mickey is calling me, and megan is the medium.
I started reading a new book "The life you've always wanted" by John Ortberg. I find it to be challenging and insightful, and I must say, it is cheering my up a bit. Of course, I took it to work purely to have something to read once my work was completed, and now I am super glad I did. I highly recommend it. Especially if you are looking to better your relationship with Jesus. It has begun to cure some of my bitterness about being here-and while there is still lots of work to do there, I know that it is helping my attitude at least a little.
I used to dream of writing books. of any kind. Now, I look at my grammar and cringe. Maybe I should take a class-though I don't feel that I have any creative energy currently.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
This is another struggle. Having only been here since June, I know it isn't fair to make judgements...and the first year is the hardest...but I am really struggling with being here. THere is no one at all (no exaggeration) our age at the church, and since that is where I spend most of my time, we haven't made any friends. And I'm kind of a social creature. So even with scott, I feel pretty alone. When he goes to work I just sit around at home-like I have forgotten how to make friends, and I have no desire to go out alone. I want to, I just don't know where to go, or what to do. So its hard. It's even harder that while most of the people at church are super nice, there are some things I don't understand-like when you get approval for something, start it and then get told you can't do it-well its frustrating. and its happened more than once. The church seems healthy, but it also seems that everyone is too busy to really make anything happen. I'm just frustrated. I know God is faithful and that He wouldn't have put me here if it wasn't meant to be, but I just keep wondering how long? What am I supposed to learn? The people are very supportive, and I think I need that confidence, but at the same time...its so frustrating. But now I'm just ranting, instead of being thankful for the opportunities I do have.
I'm gonna go stare at the TV
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
The highlights of Tuesday--My mom and one of my grandma's came to visit-so that made me a little happy to have company for the day. Scott and I went grocery shopping and got some yummy stuff. Thats happy too. Now, I must sleep for tomorrow I actually have to try and work.
In other super exciting news--Group publishing has selected my church to host one of the VBS promotion parties this spring..which means I get free VBS product, and I get to do some networking and hopefully give the church an even better VBS reputation than it already has. YAY!! (its the little things--I really wanted to do this) YAY!!
Friday, September 10, 2004
Monday, September 06, 2004
Thursday, September 02, 2004
well, I can't sleep. to everyone who likes to stay updated on my life...skip to the bottom. or keep reading it is encouraging for everyone...but today its personal--this is my encouragement to one of my oldest and dearest friends. (you know who you are...)
My dear friend, I wish that I could be with you now, that we could be at steak and shake, that we could cry, and know that together everything will be okay. to turn tears to laughter, and jokes to deep philosophical discussions that have shaped both of our faiths. While I am still forever searching--i still find these truths to be universal. God loves us. Nothing can change that. Jesus died for us. Nothing can change that. We will hurt. God can hug us...metaphorically and through our steak and shake friends. I know that right now is a time in your life when you don't want to hear about God. You are angry at your circumstance, and above all--hurting so deeply you feel it will never go away. I want to tell you I am always here, nothing will ever change that. Every life is marked with pain. Some more than others--right now, yours more than most. but you do have some things you can be thankful for-family, friends (ahem), a place to sleep at night, food on the table, and all the other cliche encouragements you can think of.
Your hurt will fade, and there will be another-it will be harder to open your heart, but there is always something to be learned from each relationship. To trust now seems impossible, to believe in someone, even crazier. But it is possible. Don't give up hope. I will see you soon, and we can laugh, and cry-and talk about boys, Jesus, work, the meaning of life, and why all of a sudden, after of a quarter of a century do we discover that we know nothing. I love you. More deeply and powefully than you can even imagine. (and God loves you more than that...though I still don't have science to prove it..thus your struggle continues).
On another note--if you ever feel hurried by life and want to spend some time with God..(and if you have a fast connection and sound..preferably) you should check out the site below. Shout out to the catholics who have been doing this for years! I find that it relaxes me and makes me feel refreshed.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Friday, August 20, 2004
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Friday, August 13, 2004
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I will admit maybe we take things slower than a lot of our friends, who are having babies or buying houses, while we are just at the "lets get a cat" stage-but thats ok. We don't have time for babies and houses, we are still young and free and wild. (ok maybe not...we barely have any friends) But it makes me happy. Very Very Happy.
In other news we celebrated our anniversary on saturday. I aquired the fantastic DanceDanceRevolution-which, for the record, is WAY harder than it looks. But it does have its fun spots, and it is good exercise (especially when I am trying SO hard). I need to go practice. I will master the easy level, I will.