Wednesday, August 31, 2005


so, i say something competely in love (and i think the people i was talking to all know that) totally not trying to cause conflict of any kind, and someone comments anonymously, and suddenly people are ACTUALLY commenting..i've had more comments in the last 24 hours than i have in weeks. So i guess thats a big thanks to anonymous, and a reprimand for all of my friends for not commenting more (melanie and ryan excluded)
isn't it crazy that we've created a world where people are SO defensive they misunderstand concern as judgement? Ah well, its not worth the drama.

My husband took me to the roadhouse after work and that made me super happy. i got 30 hours at the theatre next week--thats way too many since thursday was supposed to be my last day. i have no spine.

i've got some interviews, and even a call or two. i'll let you know if any of it works out.

we're moving friday (boxes, etc in the car) and then furniture saturday morning. we're still in need of some good help. lunch provided on saturday!

well, im tired and thats really the only exciting things in my life. WAIT-there is one more thing. I saved melanie from some overwhelming greek structures. yeah-im that cool.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


i have a lot to say. to a lot of people. but its probably best if i just stay quiet. because no one listens anyway (except maybe ryan). so let me just throw a little bit out there, and you can take it our leave it. its pretty random, things running through my head. some of it specific. most of it just "letting some crazy out" as megan calls it..

melanie, i've been thinking, and although you'll probably find someone else closer (mom, etc) as terrified as i would be an honor.

megan, you need to see a doctor because your moods are getting increasingly more swing-ish, and i am worried about you.

ryan (and hollye), stay level-headed and remember, love is a forever feeling, not a this is fun for now feeling.

cynthia-how is your relationship with Jesus?

scottie-i love you, you are the favorite part of every day.

stevi and paul-just get married already. maybe im not around enough-but you both seem rather fond of each others company and thats a big part of forever.

family--send money.

if anyone has a washer and dryer they don't want (the dryer needs to be electric) please contact me as we are looking for them. also, if anyone has martha stewart like abilities and would like to help me actually decorate the new place that would be really neat.

i have an interview at a kindergarten readiness school (read: preschool special ed) in urbana. thats exciting. of course, i probably won't get hired, but since i applied online today and they called me today that might be hopeful. Lutheran Social Services however has placed me in round two *meaning im not at the top of the hire list and didnt make the first cut* so i MIGHT hear something next week. Dale won't believe anyone that rob is probably stealing and wants me to work WITH him to help him. yeah. right. man. my life is pretty boring. even when its eventful. im gonna go read for awhile.

Monday, August 29, 2005


will someone please offer me a job so i can get out of theatre hell?

covered in glue

IOWA was a super-duper time with fun parks and rest stops and family and such. I would post some of the cool pictures, but as we all know, I am completely uncapable of that, so if you want to see em, leave a comment, and i will invite you to view them via OFOTO.

Rachel and Joel are officially gone. I'm glad we spent the weekend together. It'll be different (since even when we lived in Indiana we still saw each other at least once a month if not more) but we'll survive. I am excited for them, and scared for them at the same time. I hope they find what they are searching for (although that might be tough as I AM RIGHT HERE!!) Seriously though--as much as they will be missed, I hope they can find a place where they are happier.

I'm finally doing the table project i wanted to do before we moved here--and so i am currently covered in glue. Mod-podge actually-but GLUE. I hope the tables turn out as cute as the idea was. I did one table just with scottie and me, and the other i included our family on. FUN TIMES.

Monday-we get to sign our lease, pick a time to move in, open a bank account, get our utilities hooked up, talk to mediacom and then find me a job. all at one time.

Oh, I quit my theatre job. As in thursday I will be done unless Dale offers me a ton more money-that job is so not worth it anymore. if it was classic cinemas, maybe-but here-no. Besides, that will motivate me to find a better job --right?? RIGHT??

My husband made cookies while I was at work. Thats reason number 156484652467 that I love him.

Friday, August 26, 2005

I got an idea.

If everyone we know sends us $10 we should be able to get some of these utilities paid without completely exhausting our savings account. So think about that, and call me to get the address to which the money should be sent. I'm counting on you people!!! :)

In other news, work was fun last night, i am really going to miss richie. really. we always have fun, and rob is kinda not fun anymore so im not looking forward to when its just the two of us. Oh well.
In a few hours we're leaving for Scotts family thing. Its the last thing we will be doing with rachel and joel before they move so this trip better be fun. We'll see though because everyone is stressed about moving/new jobs, etc. it'll probably be a good time and im just being negative. Maybe we could take an offering at scotts family function as well to help us with utilities and such. I dont really know most of his family well enough to ask that but its a thought.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

A few strong arms.

Well, we think we have decided on a place to live. We are in need of a few muscular arms to assist us on moving day. We are tentatively scheduling that day to be Saturday September 3rd. We will of course provide meals (probably lunch) for anyone who helps, and if you come from a far distance, you are welcome to stay the night. Let me know if you are interested, and I can get you more details if that date ends up working out.

I still don't have a job. Its frustrating, but God I'm sure has a plan for where he wants me. Hopefully that place will realize how much God wants me there and offer me a job sooner rather than later.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


Sorry Megan. You know what kind of mood i was in, so this one will probably be profound too.

So this is from The Message, by Eugene Peterson-who has a fantastic Bible paraphrase (NOT to replace regular Bible reading, but as a helpful modern supplement).
It's from Matthew 6:approximately verses 33-34

Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Ok. So I spent all day stressed out, and listened all day to Scott telling me God loved me and it would be ok. I went for a walk and I prayed. It was one of those times where God felt like being God and kept his mouth shut. Or i was too stressed out to really listen. Then Megan asks me about praying, which was actually helpful, because YES i had prayed, but I had left it at that. So I started thinking about how I expected God to give me this perfect answer which I know isn't even in the nature of God. But its what I WANTED. So I go to grab my copy of the message, and suprise-its still at the church. Which sucks. Because I needed a fresh outlook. Having studied and quizzed for so long, all of those do not worry about tomorrow verses ring pretty much cliche in my head. However, those same verses as translated above have given me peace. A new outlook. I know its not the end of the world, but moving, buying a car, etc just gets overwhelming. And it doesnt help that LSS hasn't called..because if I take the other job--well there goes camp, quizzing, and the youthworker convention. All those things I care about and feel that God wants me doing...unable to be done because i have to work nights and weekends for the rest of my life. But its going to be all right. What is God doing right now that I should be concerned with? I have some amazing junior high quizzers that I can't wait to hang out with every week. I have great friends, family and a wonderful supportive husband. We have food in the fridge (mostly eggs, but thats ok) and in the pantry (here its noodles or tuna) and we have cell phones and a landline, and internet and all the other fancy things that we expect to have and don't really need *thanks scottie* so maybe its time to rethink. If i'm so worried about tomorrow, then im obviously lacking in faith. Of course, this is easier to say than to actually believe. I am worried about tomorrow, but the change in attitude is that I trust God will provide for me tomorrow the same way He did today with phone calls from friends, and hugs from my husband and all the other things, like the cool breeze to help my eyes.

So this has gotten longer than I planned. I'm still stressed, but for tonight, I have a place to rest and I trust that tomorrow God will provide me at least that much if not way more than I can currently hope to have on my own.

Monday, August 22, 2005

spinning in circles.

Remember childhood, when spinning in circles until you got dizzy (or being spun by someone else) was pretty much the best part of your life? Nothing could top that feeling of not knowing which way to walk, and giggling as you toppled over.
Fast forward to today. Your best friends are scattered all over the U.S. instead of meeting daily in your back yard. You pray that things will settle down and that the spinning is only a temporary part of being an adult. Where to live, where to work, where to go to church, how to fit all of the important stuff in while still paying the bills. Every move seems to be the last one, every job seems more permanent than the last. Commitments change and shift based on what you are able to fit in, not what you really want to be doing. But all you're really doing is spinning. The feeling you longed for as a child now makes you sick as you try to find balance. Struggling to make everything thats important fit with all the other stuff.
I'm ready to stop spinning. Find a place to fit in, to live, to work, to volunteer. And for it to not change every 9-12 months. That would be totally awesome. Lets work towards that, ok?
and could all my friends please come play in my backyard so that the rest of the world doesn't matter? just for like an hour? FANTASTIC-i'll see you there!

Sunday, August 21, 2005


5:15 AM.
Green powdered candy.
finger crochet.
baby wipes.
new friends.
old friends.
erroring out.
sorry megan.
going to ryans.
losing emma.
happy birthday to emma.
juice boxes galore.
Veggie ROCKS.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

I should be sleeping.

I have to get up and leave for a quiz in approximately 3 1/2 hours. YAY for the first quiz..even if it just just quizmania and it is Romans. Anyway, my husband and i spent an evening all alone doing nothing. IT WAS FANTASTIC (of course, i did take a nap, but just hanging out together on the couch was a great feeling).


Thursday, August 18, 2005

highs and LOWS

well, so today was going ok. work was fun, and then when i got home, there was a message for scott saying that dsc wanted to offer him a job! so YAY. then rachel and joel came over, and we were just hangin out playin road rage, waitin for scott to get home..and then scott walks in and announces that his car is really broken. well, that means he cannot get to a job in champaign--nor can we share a car if we move to champaign because the job i am hoping for requires the use of my car. so we are minus one car and both hoping to work 40 minutes from home. the original solution was to move halfway between work and church so as to do both, but as that is impossible with only one car we are at an impasse. i don't really know what to do. and then we get cash at the ATM and the bank says that we have $150-$200 less than my check register believes we have. which means we don't even really have enough extra money to move or get another car. its crazy our luck and how we always seem to find out really great things and then-as if to counteract it something totally sucky happens. Its never just-lets have them be happy-or even lets have them be miserable because then we could adjust. and heaven forbid we have normal with small bits of good news and bad. its always gotta be major stuff. WHY? Now theres no way i can go to kokomo and visit my friend jen because we dont have $40 extra bucks to spend on the gas, and scott might need the car those 2 days. see. GRR. I'm so frustrated right now. It makes me want to crawl in the bathtub with a toaster. That may be a bit dramatic. sigh. i guess i better head to work. at least richie is paying me to preview.

i love my kids.

Let me tell you my really boring story. So I get to practice, and one of my girls-Emma-tells me that Kayla isn't going to do quizzing because she has soccer every wednesday and that pretty much breaks my heart since Kayla is one of the primary reasons I wanted to work with this team. So then none of the other teams showed up, and i was even more sad-but really happy at the same time that my 3 kids that did show up are doing fantastic and really excited about going this saturday. We get about halfway through practice and in walks KAYLA. she apologized for being late and then told me she really wanted to do quizzing, so was it ok if she was late every week-so then obviously im much cheered up by this. then we do a practice round open book on chapter one, which we were almost finished reading through when kayla arrived--and she got 2 correct jumps! I was super PRAISE JESUS about it--because i truly believe this girl just really needs someone to love on her. And she's going on saturday--shes even staying at emmas so she doesn't oversleep. Oh, and last week, she wouldn't even try and jump and was super discouraged... YAY GOD! My other kids-paul and michael did great too--and i think that this team is going to have some spectacular times--we had lots of good laughs tonite, and we are going to be spending tons of times in cars with the distance we have to travel to YAY YAY YAY!!! for those of you who aren't familiar with quizzing, and with what kayla showing up means-im sorry. Just know its a super huge praise. SUPER SUPER HUGE. anyway, thats it. I just wanted to share.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

so gina is so cool.

hey guys--check this out. Gina had one on her site, and i thought it was TOTALLY cool, so you should do it. but you have to totally zoom a lot to be exact. should use the new address :) Anyway, here it is MY GUESTMAP!

Visibility: ZERO

so i drove home tonite in this crazy scary fog. it would randomly not exist for like 10 seconds and then i would be slammin on my breaks as i could not see 20 feet in front of the car. it was like that the entire way home. it was scary and kinda cool. and when i got home--yay my quiz portion had arrived, and so that made my night.

it was sad to drop my keys off at the meadowview. maybe this time i really am done with classic cinemas. now lets just hope that i get the job i really want.

well, i guess thats it. i just wanted to post to make the world a better place. i thought i had more to say, but alas, my life dulls in comparison with my friends.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

What's going on?

It's been almost a week...i'm sure some of you are pretty stressed about that. Anyway--lets see..
I AM SO EXCITED about BIBLE QUIZZING its insane. Its almost like camp you all know how truly excited i am. i visited melanie wednesday night-we went to steak-n-shake with stephanie and jeremy. then we stayed up talking, got veryl little sleep-and went to the museum of science and industry-where we talked like adults and enjoyed the world like kids. Thursday night i went to champaign for the savoy 16 interview-and hung out with my friend Christy-for the first time ever outside of camp world. She works at Lutheran Social Services and is hopefully gonna get me a job there. Thats the job i really want--so everybody pray super super hard. Then back to kankakee (yes, i spent lots of time in the car) where I hung out with megan at dennys until like 5:30 in the am. worked open-8 on friday..watched some monk with the adorable husband..more steak-n-shake with megan that night. came home this morning. worked on quizzing stuff--found some errors in the district scheduling...took a nap--worked in danville with richie--so that was fun. now im finally posting.
The next few weeks will be more of the same action packed funness with erika coming on tuesday and picnic on wednesday--then friday randy's visiting--and saturday is quizmania, then a visit to jens the next week-and scotts family reunion thing that weekend.

YAY for good friends and fun times. i'm so glad for all of the people in my life. im really lucky.

also-stevi is going on a diet. i think im going with her. kinda like a trip--right? no problem. or so i think.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Quiz seats.

Thats right. My husband and pastor jay are the heros of the day as they have secured for me a set of jumpseats for my quiz team to practice with. if you don't get it...sorry for you. it totally made my day.

For Ryan.

Ok. I'm posting. Geez. you go a few days without a the most important news--sunday was scottie and my anniversary--a whole hand plus one. YAY. we hung out and ate at the roadhouse and just relaxed. then we hung out with joel, and yes--the master that i am--i finally finally won settlers. GO ME. Strategy master. and no matter what--im not playing risk. and no one can make me.

Next, i was tagged. List 6 of your favorite songs of the moment in your own lj, blog, whateva and then tag 6 others to do the same.....
*Beautiful --its from kids camp.
*Popular-from the Wicked soundtrack
*American Dream-Casting Crowns
*Trading my sorrows-kids camp edition
*No one Like you-David Crowder Band
*Revolutionary Love-David Crowder Band
So im having lots of trouble coming up with songs...which should suprise NO ONE. And now its on to Rachel, Joel, Lexa, Randy, Erika, and Stevi.
Have fun all.

And im super excited to go hang out with melanie. even though im stupid and scheduled an interview at the savoy 16 (yes, in champaign) for that night.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I am a master of strategy.

Ok, so the title may be a lie. In fact, most of the time i'm terrible at this kind of game. Especially when playing with joel and scott who happen to be secret masterminds. in fact, right now-they're playing scrabble...and then who knows. But the point is I beat them. At a game I was only playing for the second time. Thats right. we were playing AQUIRE which is like this hotel/stock type game, and yes. I WON. I guess i can say it again as it will never happen again. I WON. I am amazing. Good thing we came to champaign tonite. We met rachel and joel at the theatre and watched SKY HIGH. It was pretty funny. better than i had been told at times--as long as you enjoy obnoxious good fun in a movie.

So right now, we're looking for new jobs. Primarily because mine ends in like 2 weeks, and we want to get out of debt. That being said--i found the most perfect house. It's huge, and it has a nice yard (not huge, but not like just a strip either), and is less than 2 blocks from the grade school. Even though we are looking for new jobs, catlin in itself is a great town, very similar to chebanse, and seems like a good place to raise a family. only 40 minutes from champaign, 3 hours to chicago or st louis and about an hour and a half from indy. Not bad really. and it seems to be growing. not by leaps and bounds or anything, but in a nice small town way. Anyway, unless we get these new better paying jobs really really quickly, im sure someone else will buy the above mentioned home-and how lucky they will be. It looks like it needs a lot of work, but some of the stuff we could do on our own...maybe i need to make an appointment and pretend we are serious so i can see the inside. this will of course only make me fall more in love and eventually break my heart. it even has a basement. No central air though...which of course could be remedied over time...there are a few window air conditioners, and well..with the addition of a ceiling fan or two we could probably survive. I just want so badly to have a house...even if we can't afford it. But we'd be paying a mortgage equal to what we pay in rent...and its got this awesome wrap around porch, and well..its magnificient. If only there was some way to come upon a ton of money--THINK THINK THINK-you can win strategy games..there must be a way...

alright. keep us in your prayers.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

the woman at the well.

last week, we talked about extreme makeovers due to encounters with Jesus. I was struck by the woman at the well. The lonely, sinful woman at the well. The one Jesus waited for, and reached out to, and understood in a way no one else ever did. Of course she was transformed. She was broken, and God healed her. She was alone, and God touched her. I spend a lot of my days feeling like this woman-alone, broken and longing for that transforming GOD LOVE. I have an amazing family, a fantastic husband, and awesome friends. But that doesn't stop me from feeling lonely and broken on occasion. Or scared and confused about what happens next. I am glad that God heals and forgives and hugs and waits for us. When we're feeling like no one understands or can even imagine I'm glad that Jesus does.

To all of my friends and loved ones who are unsure about life and about what next week holds...know that you are loved deeply-by me and by our Creator.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Alicia.