Monday, December 10, 2007

Ephesians 4:25-27

From the message:

What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ's body we're all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

I've been thinking a lot about this scripture, in relation to several conversations.
It's hard to live an honest life. To be vulnerable to other people, and not know how they will respond to your secrets. How they will treat your pain. will they love you, and tell you that its ok, or will they pass judgement?

And when you're do you respond without firing back that same hurt?

How do you be angry without sinning? How to you let it out without causing someone else pain?

I think God calls us to a life where we set an example. Where we love the unlovable, and befriend the friendless. We don't always like it. It's hard to love the ugly, mean and rude. But Jesus did it. and he's our example. So, if we're really going to live life Jesus, and honor God with what we do--we have to start at the core. We have to reach out to someone that no one else reaches out to--we have to stop being afraid that our friends will make fun of us. We have to stand up for what we believe, and speak the LOVE of Jesus into the lives of the people who need it the most.

That means, we have to start encouraging each other. Instead of making fun of scott for inviting over that really annoying guy, i have to start encouraging his friendship, and get to know that guy myself. Instead of rushing in with conclusions about someone, we have to stop, and ask them about their lives. Of course, this complicates things, because we have to keep responding.

There are some people that we just don't like. Some personalities that just don't mesh. A few people who you don't agree with. That doesn't mean that you stop loving. It means you ask God to give you the love for those people.

Everyone knows im guilty as charged when it comes to judging people. As an example from everyday life: Im especially hard on a certain quiz team who I don't think are very good sports. But maybe, then, I need to set an example for their coach. I need to invite them to practice with us, to be a team--and to understand the goal is being more like Christ, and not just getting a good personal score. I need to help my team to win humbly, and to lose gracefully. To have them be known by their love,and their spirit--and hope that it catches on. But the attitude adjustment starts with me. It starts in my heart when I ask God to make me like him, and to love, and to teach others to honor him through the quiz ministry.

In your anger do not sin...
do not say things you cannot take back.
do not spread rumors. do not talk bad about someone.

in your anger, do not sin...because this is how satan wins.
do not lie. do not steal. do not jump to conclusions. do not believe you know the whole story.
do not take revenge for your hurt.

INSTEAD...Be Kind. Be Compassionate. Forgive. Be an example of God in the world.
Pray that God will change your heart and your attitude, and that change in you can change the world.

In your anger...Be silent.
Wait for God. Trust that he will lead you.

I'm gonna try it. And I hope you'll join me on the journey. That you'll encourage me. And that you won't be afraid to confront me when I'm not responding in a way that honors Jesus.

This entire chapter of my life brought to you be the leadings of the Holy Spirit.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

st. louis

NO A OR B, just CCD!!

ok. so st. louis was pretty amazing. we went on thursday instead of friday--so there was much less stress on the way down, and more time to hang out with is good for...well, everything. it was also a much more relaxing day--getting to know other districts staying in the hotel, quizzing, games, talks, well. you had to be there.

im also super proud of both teams. they quizzed well, and im super proud of the k3 girls who placed 38th (lena) and 55th (danielle) out of 222. Yeah. I KNOW, RIGHT.

oh, and im getting sick again. so its off to bed with me.

Friday, November 23, 2007


So, this past week has been a little crazy.
my work SUCKED monday, tuesday, really sucked.
The good news is that rachel and joel are here--so here's the rundown (pretty much just the facts-so you know what you've missed!!):

got home late. rachel and joel had arrived. had quizzers over. played with them. ate soup. erika came over to see rachel and joel and spend the night. played the bean game.

after work went to chicago. ate at foodlife. went to altar boyz with rachel and joel. came home. slept.

Umm...after work, went to st. louis. ate at taco bell on the way. had christmas with scott's family. Really good times. watched chris and erica start preparing for thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving with scotts family. played some games during the parade. took a nap. drove home. went through ads with rachel and stevi. played the bean game.

3:40 AM Went to Kohls, Penney's, Best Buy, Carsons, Target. breakfast. Home by 8.
rachel went back to bed. Stevi and i returned to the shopping. JoAnn's, Bath and Body works, Bonsai store, Michaels (best buy again). Stopped at parents house. Home by 12:30

Went to Chinese with Rachel, Joel, Scott, Andy, Naomi, and Stevi. YUM.
Watched a survivor video. Took a nap.

Went to abbie and garretts for nacho dinner, and games/hanging out/playing with the kids.
came home. ate pie.

10:49 PM -got comment from Lena that I needed to blog. So thats what I am currently doing.

POSTING. One week from right now, we'll be in St. Louis.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

thats not my....


Many of you who have spent any time with me over the last year know that i have been fighting a losing battle with God when it comes to the senior high youth at my church.

I LOVE working with preteens--and well--as far as teenagers--i love quizzing--and so i have to encounter teenagers there--but generally on a more focused scale--and beyond that--well--im really more into childrens ministry.

14 months ago, we moved back to kankakee, and started a quiz team at kankakee first. it was great, because scott could really get involved with the senior high students, and i could spend time getting involved with our preteens. which is what i did. i spent wednesday nights, filling in and helping out in classrooms in our childrens department. I LOVE THE CHILDRENS DEPARTMENT. even beyond preteens, i spent some time with first graders, and was just an overall good time--i went to district teen events--I mean, i totally supported NYI and what the youth pastors and leaders across the district were trying to do--i just didn't really feel like i needed to be a part of it. I was even going to NYC-which is a huge-every-four-year-teen-event. But, I convinced myself that was enough.

At the beginning of the summer, i was teaching 2nd grade sundayschool, and helping out at district youth events. My youth pastor would ask if I wanted to help with this or that or whatever--and I firmly told him over and over that senior high students were not my ministry. I was happy and comfortable, and well, content in the role i was in.

Thats where God comes in. See, where I'm content and what God calls me to are totally different things. I spent some time getting to know some of the students who would be going to NYC, and realized that there was a huge need for female leaders in our youth group. So foolishly, I began to pray that God would send someone to these amazing young people. I showed up and helped out at our district stuff pre-NYC. And then I went. and I remember after the friday evening service, it was time to tell the youth pastor the crazy thing God had been speaking into my heart since before the trip. I didn't really want to tell him--because, well--then I would be held accountable--but that is why we speak--to be held accountable.

(WAIT!! Heres something else you need to know--growing, getting out of my comfort zone-i've done it-but senior high students scare me to death. I mean, i was in high school once--and i know how hard it can be sometimes. I also know from being around our students that they expect honestly. Weak, flawed, sincere honesty. And, they know when you're bluffing.)

So I told my youth pastor that friday at NYC--I had just gotten the opportunity to take over the preteen girls sunday school class, and I was NOT going to give that up, and didn't feel that God wanted me to. BUT, i was going to start showing up at senior high youth group on wednesday nights--because God called me to be that person i had been praying for.

After our amazing preteen retreat in October, I offered my services to our youth pastor for the senior high retreat on an "as needed" basis. Maybe i was tired, maybe i realized the value of retreat experiences...maybe i was just hungry.

two weeks ago, my adorable husband calls me up after youth group (i had come home) and says "Steve needs you to go on retreat. Is that ok?"

Thanks God. I was kinda hoping that i had met my "requirement" with showing up on wednesday nights, and doing some follow up throughout the week. I mean, i could talk about retreat once they got back, right? but i realized that maybe God's plans are bigger than mine--so i said i would go.

Now--reading this, you might think--you can't be effective where don't want to be. BUT--thats where it gets super crazy. I believe that God gives us the desires of our hearts if we truly seek HIM with our whole being. And that must mean that i was wrong. It's ok to have more than one passion. More than one desire. I can LOVE my preteen girls on Sunday mornings, and I have come to honestly love the girls in our youth group. I'm not there out of some "obligation".

I'm there because God wants me to be. And, I've learned but listening to Gods whisper--its where I really want to be-even if its not....well....maybe i need Philippians 2:12-13 and God's Grace for the adventure.

Happy thanksgiving week.
Oh, and in case I didn't happen to mention it--I had a great time on our Senior high retreat.

Monday, November 12, 2007


so, lena tells me that since im not sick, i need to update. i think thats a good plan.

So, this last weekend was pretty much amazing. friday night the quiz team headed up to erikas house for our first overnight of the year. we went to california pizza kitchen for dinner--and i had to TAKE the Bible away from the girls. thats a good feeling. they were all really nervous and excited for the quiz. so then we went to erikas and hung out and talked..and practiced and whatever.

saturday was the quiz. the first round, danielle had 40 points, lena had 20 points, and well..i was crazy nervous. but things shaped up, and they both placed in the top 5 so they get to go to st. louis--but the team suffered for putting personal scores first--and both danielle and lena said they didnt like doing things that way--so it was a good lesson. the team still took 3rd (after losing the first tournament round on question 20).

then we went to chipotle, and had to wait for rice, and then came home. overall, it was a good trip.

The best thing though is that tonight, lena, danielle, lori and i got together to go over chapter 4 a little more and have some pie. sneaky sneaky pie. it threw danielles fork. and her pants suffered. we laughed a lot, and talked about the trip, and talked about retreat...and laughed some more.

and-so that everyone knows. jeremy is a computer hacking genious-making him the hero of the day.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Being Sick.

Ok, every fall, I get this awesome cold that lasts, well until spring. It's onset is pretty terrible, as those who were on my quiz team last november can tell you, because i carried a kleenex box around with me the whole weekend. So, everyone always tells me to take medicine to get better sooner. This is a GREAT theory. But thats all it is. On Sunday, I start to notice a tingle in my throat, and by monday morning, the throat is hurting.

I work all day monday, drinking tea, and trying to ignore the throat. I take some medicine for throats. THEN, Tuesday-the throat still hurts, and im starting to get the sniffles and the cough. So, I immediately rush out and buy TYLENOL COLD multi-symptom SEVERE, believing the theory that I can defeat the cold.

Wednesday, I'm still coughing and sneezing a little, but I feel TERRIFIC. It must be working! Yay!! Everyone was right! Medicine does help.

Which brings us to today: I'm sitting at home. I got up at 8 to go to work, and felt like i had been buried alive. Yeah..I felt that good. I could barely breathe, and my mouth was full of this disgusting mucusy stuff. SERIOUSLY???

So, I brush my teeth, drink a cup of hot tea, and get ready for work. Then I start in the with coughing. After about 7 minutes, I can hardly breathe again and so I call my supervisor to tell her i won't be coming in-take more medicine (what the heck-it worked before) then i Get back in bed. Only to wake up at 10:30 feeling again like i had been buried alive in green slime, and couldn't breathe.

The cold has defeated me. I sit here, staring at the miracle medicine, trying to decide if it will really help or if it will again attempt to bury me alive. Curse you TYLENOL COLD!!

I've used 5 kleenex in the writing of this disgusting blog. I'm gonna lay on the couch and hope someone brings me some soup.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

ice world

so, right now, scott is playing mario 2--which i got for the wii so that i could fight the BLOOP guy repeatedly....and maybe someday get beyond level 2. Well, scott decides, its time i learn something, and shows me a WARP to world 4 right there in level 1-2. Crazy?? theres like ice, and rocket ships and all kinds of cool stuff in world 4. i will totally use that warp the next time i play.

In the other boring news of my life--i had a terrific time last night at chipotle with erika and jeremy..even if i was kinda like a 3rd wheel. haha. and for the record--the skybus doesn't fly to kankakee or boise --which is really really too bad.

over the weekend we travelled to texas for jonathan's wedding..scott was in the wedding. it was a fun trip overall. I especially like the part where scott sat by this guy on the way down, and then he was on our flight back too--and so they chatted for a little moment.

i have also cleaned my kitchen and learned (from jeremy) how to use AIM at i am sure i will be much more productive. :)

have a good week!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

K3 United Front.

I think this about says it, but just in case it doesn't.....

Sunday, September 30, 2007

my cat hates me.

on occasion, scott and i keep aidan overnight. our cat absolutely hates aidan--for no good reason other than pure cat jealousy at not being the only baby in the house. its funny because we always set up aidan's pack-n-play in our bedroom--and our cat positions herself as far as possible from our room as she can figure out. she sits in the living room on the the far end...she'd probably sleep upstairs with andy and naomi if they would allow it...its cute for her to be jealous, but it makes me nervous about what happens when we have kids--will she ever adjust??

in other news, i can't sleep. which is why im posting about my cat. i am going to be SO tired for church tomorrow--and that makes me mad too--because i want to go to bed, but i just can't sleep. i haven't finished my sunday school lesson, but normally--i just wing it anyway. its creation--and it should be an easy lesson--so lets hope. i want to talk to caley about getting us a bigger room, or a room that we can actually use--but we'll see if i remember that tomorrow.

this week, i've been really stressed about money--with upcoming trips and whatnot. plus christmas.

man. this post is kinda sucky. so im just gonna stop. i'll do better next time, i promise.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


My prayer tonight is for the wounded. the betrayed. the heartbroken.

sometimes are hurts are little, and seem big. sometimes they are selfish. sometimes they feel like they will destroy us. our friends betray us, our bodies betray us, our dreams betray us. So what are we left with? The hope that God can take our hurts, and turn them into something beautiful. We hope that God can teach us, and can heal us, even when we think its impossible.

we seek out others who are like us. hurt, troubled, broken. We cling to each other and we cling to our hope. This is what we have.

Hope that God heals. That God loves. That God knows what we need and can give us strength to make it to tomorrow.

To all of my friends, and their very real hurts-big or small. I love you-but better than that! God loves you immeasurably and is wrapping his arms around you and holding you while you cry.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

quizzing gives me hope.

Well, quiz practice is well underway. We went over galatians chapter 2 tonight. The returning quizzers are really doing amazing, and the new ones are learning, and scared of everything. but its cool. i love it. i love teaching people how to do it, and i love seeing teenagers really getting into the word.

It gives me hope. When life is frustrating, and my clients drive me nuts, and i just feel like i don't want to do anything, i hope for quiz practice. Even when its not the most serious, or even the most fun, it gives me hope. Hope to know that the God I serve is so amazing, that he can give me these students for a few hours a week-to share their lives, and bring me peace. It the quiz room, where some people haven't studied, and some are distracted, and some are super focused, its comforting to know, we're part of something bigger.

I can't wait until we start travelling. I think its going to be some terrific times in the party van (and the rented van-a praise that we won't always fit in one car!) at lunch, at dinner, during rounds and in the vans...God is going to bring us some serious good times.

When I get discouraged, when I get frustrated--well, there's always Jesus, and he gives me quizzing.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

life, as a work of frustration.

I get so easily frustrated. Tonight i got a call from a foster parent, through the on-call service. After calming the foster parent down, and resolving the issue for the moment-I get super frustrated because it was a lombard call and not a kankakee call. i know, its stupid..but for the next hour, i called the lombard on call worker to make sure they got all the details.

i also get frustrated at scott. we will sit down to watch a show, and i'll say, "you're gonna fall asleep, lets not watch it." To which he assures me that he will not fall asleep. But then he does. and it really frustrates me. its like, i want to sit on the couch and waste my life watching tv--but i want to do it with him...and when he falls asleep--its like i should just go ahead and do it alone. no matter how many times i get frustrated though, he still always trys to say he will stay awake when he knows full well he wont--or at least tell me when he's tired so we can shut it off and finish it later. but i just look over andBAM he's asleep.

theres more, but the laptop battery is low, and i don't want to get up.

it'll be ok. thanks for reading.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Hey Hey it's Saturday!

well, its one o'clock, and its raining a little. I hope that there is some dry ground at the heartmoms picnic and that it goes well.

Quizmania was a smashing good time. For the last hour of the morning, joe asked the lady if we could use bumpers, and sat on the floor rolling it down the lane--basically because if you had been bowling since midnight--well, at 5 am you'd sit on the floor to finish your games too. We gave away a few cool prizes...AND everyone did a little quizzing. we're off to a good start. :)

I would say more, but i just woke up and i'm a little hungry. Later gang.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

hey, its thursday night.

and i suck at posting. it happens. i would love to post some pictures from last weekend--we escaped to St. Louis for our anniversary/free time before the quizzing season starts. Alas, this weekend will not be as carefree.

The good news of the baseball world-the cardinals SWEPT the 1st place central division brewers and have had 5 straight wins (defeating the 1st place west division dodgers 2 out of 3 games)

24 hours from now, we'll be hanging out at quizmania--so thats exciting and stressful all at the same time.

Ryan and Lori are gonna help with the 1st church team this year, so that should take some of the pressure off, and we needed the help looks like we're gonna have around 10 quizzers. So thats cool.

i'm not pregnant. Thanks lexa, for asking. I am however attending sidra's bridal shower next sunday the that should be fun! (acutally i need to rsvp...but its too late to do that at the'll have to wait until tomorrow).

my husband is laying on the couch laughing at the daily show. he's always laughing at that show.
oh, other exciting news. we're headed to texas in october for a wedding that scott will be in--we'll get to hang out with evan, liz and merideth that weekend too so thats cool. i love other peoples kids. the bad news, we probably won't be able to go to sidra's the next weekend...maybe if everyone freakin lived closer....

i think thats it. I was trying not to be distracted. but as those of you close to me know, in a psychological testing class i was once labeled with the following prayer:
"Dear God, please help me to keep my mind on one thing oh hey look at that bird
at a time. Amen"
Love me because im unfocused. It wouldn't be fun if everyone paid attention all the time.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

highs and lows

well, im home on lunch. court didn't take as long this morning as it normally does, so i came home, cut the grass in the back yard, took a shower and ate lunch.

Big issues on the prayer front: One of my close friends just found out that her 15 month old is almost completely deaf. They will be doing surgery at the end of the month to put tubes in her ears to drain the fluid and the doctor is optimistic that this will help-but then she will have to learn a bunch of things over again. so prayer that her family has peace about this gets through this next few months trying to figure out what will work best.

also, my brother is having some medical problems--possibly serious ones. I can't elaborate at the moment, but prayer for my family would be amazing.

to get through today, i believe that God loves me, cares for me, and does His best to carry my load when it gets too heavy. I wish my clients would call God with their problems instead of me, but I know that I can make it through because God can provide me with strength and encouragement when I feel empty and confused. He is BIGGER, STRONGER and more POWERFUL than any of my struggles. I BELIEVE THAT.

I am excited that scott and i get to go on a mini-vacation next week. Now lots of you are probably thinking that we're always on vacation--camp and youth events to do not equal vacation no matter how fun they are :) Our anniversary is next tuesday, so late next thursday night we're heading to st. louis for a ball game and trip to the zoo. We went last year to st. louis for baseball and botanical i'm sure this trip will be just as fun. We did learn a lesson last year, and are stayin on the missouri side instead of the illinois side so that we don't have to wait 9 hours to get on the metra after the game because westbound is much less crowded than eastbound --apparently no one goes from the baseball game to the airport which is good news for us. We'll probably also have lunch with his parents and possibly see their new place. So, the thought of taking time away from work also gets me through the day.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

NYC letdown

So, i kinda slacked there..and you never heard about days 5 and 6 (7 if you count our trip home). but thats ok. All you need to know is that it was an amazing experience...and my few brief updates don't do justice to the event. Arena events are always exciting..because although they are emotionally get to see people, just like you worshipping God. And its beautiful. My prayer is that all the students go home from NYC remembering their "moment" when NYC transformed them.

So, i go back to work tuesday and am happy to learn that my supervisor is in joliet, and then will be off wednesday. this means i can re-orient without feeling attacked. So, wednesday, Valerie calls...because she's in bourbonnais for a home visit and we go to lunch. Half way through lunch i start to feel more than a little sick...and end up puking my guts out twice at lunch. So i make some calls..tell people im not going to be back in the office, and head home. i only lose my guts two more times at home before falling asleep around 4 pm. well, i woke up at 4:30 to find that my husband had cleaned the downstairs living room around me...and thrown out my sprite.
still not feeling 100 percent, i try to lay in my bed...can't sleep (no suprise...) so i do some quizzing a small bowl of cereal...and then decided to post. im going to go lay back down for half an hour or so...just so my body can be rested. hopefully...the cereal will remain in my stomach where it belongs.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Days 3 and 4

I really think the best thing to do to describe our NYC experience over these 2 days is to give you all a few lyrics...
If I'm here all alone
If I'm left behind
If they spit in my face
If they hate my kind

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For the depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

'Cause I'm a fire
I'm a flood
I'm a revolution
I am a war
Already won
I'm a revolution

When the world is at war
When the grace is gone
When the hungry lay dead
While the rich live on

I will rise above
I will live for love
I will answer to the call
For the bond between
For a depth unseen
For my God forsake it all

(Here I stand)
Open hands
Waiting for You
I won't back down
I'll live to speak Your truth

yeah. and the girls from kankakee 1st church--best on the planet!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

NYC day 2

well...if you like screaming, family force 5 is the way to go. Ew. And if you theme something water fire wind, its silly to put bottles of waters in the hands of 10000 people for an object lesson. seriously. today was again amazing. the tracks seemed like they went great or terrible...depending on the individual track coordinators. or students are behaving like rockstars--which is always good and makes me very proud of them. Today was "water" day and so our messages centered around water and cleansing...and being thirsty. Overall a great day. pictures on the ccd page if you want em.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

NYC Day 1 (officially)

Good day everyone! I'm waiting for scott to return to our room with some late night (early morning) pizza. Today has been fantastic. We got on busses at ONU early this morning and headed to st. louis....close to 200 of us from the chicago central district. We had lunch on the way, checked in at the convention center..and carried all the food for the feeding of the 5000 project down what was called the "famine trek" (every participant was asked to bring 50 pounds of food). Then we dropped our stuff off at the hotel, and headed to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. So, 110 of our group of 200 gets seated outside. It's very very humid, but starting to cool off by the time we get our drinks, so thats nice. then, they start bringing out food, and sure the time about half of us have our food-theres some thunder, and it begins to rain on us. so we try to cram people inside where there are tables available...and then no one can find their food..pretty funny stuff...but makes for a good NYC memory--especially considering the theme is WATER FIRE WIND.

then we hop on our busses and head to the convention center for the first session. Toby Mac did a decent job...everyone had a fantastic job, and for Toby Mac--it was the best i've seen him--but im not really a fan. Then Greg Steir spoke and asked the question "is Jesus your embarrassing friend?" and gave the challenge to stop acting like Jesus is something to be embarrassed by..then some super amazing worship with starfield, hang out time at the late night stuff...and then walking back to the hotel (after finally finding our missing group members) and whatnot. Everyone is in bed, and scott is back with food.

Please pray that the students really are able to focus and get what God has for them this week. It's going to be good times and lots of Love. God is amazing, and with enough prayer...well..who said high schoolers can't change the world?

if you want to see pictures, im posting them daily on the CCD quizzing site.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

4th of July

So today, I get up, read for awhile, decide to go shopping, and then head to the mantors for 4th festivities. As I drive past the Mantors, I remember an email I had from my grandma and remembered she was stressed about her sisters failing health. So, armed with hamburgers and a veggie tray, I turn around and head to my parents house. I walk in :SUPRISE! We're gonna have a cookout--call the grandmas and tell them to come on down! So, the grandma's come down, and my dad runs back into town to get some chips because for the first time in the history of my memory, they don't have any. Then my brother and I whip up some macaroni salad and wait for scott to get home. Then we have a 4th of july cookout with my family.

This is kind of a big deal, because we used to ALWAYS cook out at my parents for the 4th--like this huge bash!--but the last few years, due to my parents health and a few other things, we haven't at all. we've either gone to my aunt's house or done nothing. So it was really nice to revive that tradition. As an added bonus, I even cleaned up moms kitchen a little.

Then we came home, and it started raining, so we decided not to drive down to KCC to see the fireworks that may or may not happen. And I played papermario, and scott fell asleep, so tomorrow, we'll do 4th of July sparklers.

Thats the story of my 4th of July.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


so, i haven't had much time to post, because i've been at camp for the last week and a half or so...and will be returning this evening after an ec camp meeting.

I love camp. but here's the thing. I don't love my job. so that makes it hard. because maybe i need a ministry job that will let me go to camp without being crazy frustrated. which makes me more frustrated, because i have no idea what my ministry really is. I love teaching second grade sunday school, and i love to dance and sing at childrens church..and do pre-teen trips, and vbs, and all that good jazz...but i love jr high kids too...i had an amazing time at jr high camp and i'm expecting to have a similar experience at sr high camp.

Now, you might think that maybe its just camp, but its not. i loved working with the jr highers in danville, and i adore our sr high youth group at church. So im stuck. i guess its not a bad stuck, because trying to figure out your ministry because you like them all is better than being stuck in a ministry you hate. i guess i'm just confused as to what God wants from me. Today though, when i got back to work, i had to really struggle to do anything. and i just wanted to walk out, or kick something, and even on days when i love my job--the truth is i still hate my job.

so, if anyone knows what kind of ministry i should be doing, let me know.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

NYI Convention

to quote my husband: quizzer are taking over the world. This is because all of our youth district delegates (both jr and sr high) are all quizzers..except one. and we're working on her. So that's kinda cool.

nyi convention was a good time. a little stressful, since neither steve nor i had run the thing..but he did most the work--well, the steve-lings really did (shout out's to robbie and derek for all that work). We did some set up on friday, ate some brickstone, did a little clean up...slept for awhile. then convention. it was good that brian wilson is a go with the flow kinda guy..cuz he kinda ran the business portion of our day--since we were new. we'll see how long i'll be that lucky. i got recruited to sleep at jr high camp (they're a little short on ladies, and i happen to be one--one that enjoys sleeping in fact!) and to run registration maybe. I'm also helping with the NYC registration for our district...on my lunch break one day. i'm pretty much a registration thats all good.

i've been hangin out with some of our senior high girls, and they're suprisingly cool and not scary.

scott and i decided that we were going to chicago after convention to unwind and hang out together. we saw a play--SHEAR MADNESS. all i can say is WOW--its pretty hysterical. like really--and its thats way cool too. it was nice to have some date time.

now we're home. and im going to bed.

Friday, June 01, 2007

funny funny


guess what. after two weeks of shrek madness, we got the movie knocked up. It sold out tonight. and now that shreks only on 2 screens, hes as busy as ever. oh summer, when will you be over?

in other news, my real life job is pretty stressful these days.

my husband, not so stressful. i love him. even if i didn't get any ice cream.

Monday, May 21, 2007

loving Jesus

when you love Jesus, you have to give things up. you have to change your perspective. you have to start loving people the way Jesus does. The problem with that as I am currently finding is that loving my clients, or even my co-workers seems like an impossibility.

i just read jeremy's blog (see link at right-my favorite fish!) and it is really beautiful. I think a lot of times, we look at our relationship with Jesus as something different than it is. Something more special, or pure. When in reality, to Jesus, i'm probably like my clients. Angry, grumpy...and blaming everyone for anything. I'm not nearly as poetic as Jeremy (which is why you should just take your Jesus lesson from him) and a lot of times, I blame my job for my stress which hinders my mood. Like I can't control how much i let my job effect me. And if i was really loving other people, thats how i would be reacting. Not in anger and frustration, but just love.

What would I do if i wasn't a social worker you ask? that is the recurring theme in my life as well? one thing keeps popping up. Only that thing is scary. and not nearly as reliable as being a social worker. I guess I must stay where I am until at least october, so at least i can be at the next level social case i wanted to go back. :)

alright, enough. i'm going to get soda.

Sunday, May 06, 2007


we're almost unpacked..its only been like 2 weeks since we closed ;)
anyway, i realize that when i started this, we were moving to kokomo. it was 2004, shrek 2 ws in theatres and i was working a bizillion hours a week at the theatre. since then--we're moved 4 times, and everything in our lives has changed, including the addition of our cat that summer of 2004. shrek 3 starts in 2 weeks, and i will again be working a bizillion hours...the good news is i don't have to rely on it.
scott and i both work days and like the jobs that we currently have. i still have a lot to do to finish getting unpacked...but right now, i want some doritos. so i think i will go to the gas station, and then do some unpacking until cold case at 8.
thats one thing that's changed...before we moved to kokomo..i was not a tv addict. now i totally am. thats ok though. as long as i've got time for it.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

finals, and whatnot

im supposed ot be on my way to a home visit. im going ot be late because im putting up the pictures from finals. it was an amazing time, and i love the k3 hammers!

i have a lot to write about, since its been a month, but im not in the mood currently. oh yeah, and due to quizzer pressure, i know have a facebook. go me.

Friday, March 23, 2007

late march

if i didn't have stupid dial-up i would post more i promise (not that im not praising Jesus for the dial-up...its just...yeah).

right now, im at naomi's house and she and scott are watching a movie called Jesus camp--its pretty...strange. im not real sure. andy is in michigan.

we have teenage mutant ninja turtles at the its busy...and its super fun.

I've joined a Bible study with some girls from church...its been terrific. its relaxing to not have to be in charge and to be able to talk about Jesus. I've never really had a group of primarily christian friends. i mean, yes-i've had christian friends...and there was that time at olivet...but i mean in real life...its just kinda cool to see other people honestly trying to get closer to Jesus.

i worked at the paramount one week. WOW.

we put a bid in on another house...the other one had super termites and we decided to start over. so yeah. i'll keep you posted, one way or the other.

congrats to all the pregnant folks, engaged folks and otherwise.
congrats to naomi and myself for not being pregnant.

now the movie is over and we're having a deep discussion. by deep, i mean, they are discussing and i am interjecting with my random blog comments instead of talking about the actual movie. Personally--i got more out of Saved! but seriously--that mandy moore can act.

my job has been crazy stressful, but thats the nature of child welfare..i just wish i could get things back to a little calmer...ya know...and go to quiz practice instead of doing paperwork until 8 pm. i did get to have lunch with some of the lutheran folks on thursday when i had to attend a termination hearing in danville..which is part of why i was stressed...because i had so much to do this week.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Are you serious?

So I totally didn't post the ENTIRE month of January. The sadder part of that being that I don't have any excuse..except of course the dial-up. So here's whats happening in my life (if anyone in existence still reads blogs, as I refuse to put whole posts up on myspace because its a cluttery jumbly mess).

New Years Eve-went to Mel's for a bit, then andy and naomi's it was ok. pretty mellow way to welcome in 2007.

Rachel and joel arrived January...3rd I think. So that was some fun times. We almost bought this house in kankakee while they were here, but it didnt work out.

The district gameworks lock-in was Jan 5-6 and it was a pretty good time. I rode up and back with our youth pastor and the youth pastor at college church, and it was pretty good was funny when they tried to include me :) Also, I became the district NYI secretary, primarily because i crave organization

Then we went to St. Louis (straight from the lock-in--which has been a trend!) and hung out with scotts family. it was good times. we went out for chinese on saturday, and then went to the mall with rachel and joel. we went to sunday school and church with scotts family, and then over to Erica and Chris' house for presents. It was fun. They had kittens, but we couldn't get them home to keep. Then we went to the old spaghetti factory for lunch, then to see Evan, Liz and Merideth...then home.

Rachel and Joel stayed until thursday, so there were other good times playing games and hanging out. i miss those kids.

Umm..then it was the district quiz...Lydia reynolds came, so that was good times-- but things were quite disorganized, which stressed me out early on...and the first time we ran a quiz without Bill there for support..but it got better (we had Barry after all!). then we went for chinese with college church, naperville, and danville and the ottingers too!

umm...then we had a weekend off--two in fact...but we were still busy with church (i was teaching 1st grade for january on wednesdays) and i had to work late quite a few days. and scott started playing frisbee in the mornings again.

THEN WE FOUND A HOUSE--a way better house than the one we found in early january. If I haven't told you that yet--you need to know. We're buying a house in Bradley--we're closing officially the 28th..and planning on moving March 11, so you should help us. we'll buy dinner. Thats really the biggest news.

Then this girl scott works with talked to her Bible study, and they're going to help me go to the womens retreat in shaumburg the weekend of my birthday. then my family will celebrate when i get home on sunday.

then the next weekend is girl weekend in that's good times too (but i'll probably be really anxious about not being at my new house getting it ready to move in).

Last weekend we helped Melanie move into her very own apartment which was fun and tiring all at the same time, primarily because everything happens at once for us.
Scott had gotten tickets to 12 angry men for christmas from my mom, and so we went to the city to see the play, did a little shopping, and then returned to melanies, had dinner with ryan, john, melanie and aidan, then back to melanies for more cleaning, unpacking and building ikea furniture. overall, it was a good time. sunday naomi and melanie went with me to the superbowl party at church, which was umm..kinda boring, but i think everyone had a pretty good time, and naomi and melanie got to talk a lot..and that made me happy :)

i think thats it. its a really long post, and i promise i'll try to do better!