Saturday, July 12, 2008


So, im pregnant. For those of you that know me, you know that the next few months of my life will probably be a huge ordeal, leading up to a very traumatic birth (for me at least). I am doing what I can to not stress out, to eat better and all that other stuff you are supposed to do.

i pretty much always feel like i would feel better if i could just throw up--but i don't throw up. which is ok i guess...but frustrating because i think i would feel BETTER.

I am also pretty much complaining about everything. I am not sure what it has to do with pregnancy. I've been angry/sad for longer than i've been pregnant. It comes and goes. Sometimes I think its the fault of my job. I noticed in my old notebook that I was very frustrated and overwhelmed in April and in May where I wrote out prayers to try and calm myself down.

Im not sure how long i can do child welfare. its too much work for too little reward. most days i feel like im not really helping anyone. like everything we do is to protect ourselves, rather than really helping other people.

and the cardinals lost today. that also made me mad.