1:17 AM

I should be in bed. 17 minutes ago. I just finished up the stuff I need for tomorrows quiz practice and should be heading off to bed. I sent an email to a few people reminding them about the quiz and thanking them for their willingness to help out. Then I started thinking about the ever changing dynamic of relationships and read Leahs post.

I think about the people who were my best friends 3 months ago, 3 years ago, and 6 years ago. So many things can change a relationship. I have gained and lost and even regained several friends over the past 6 years. Like April--who was in my wedding--and I haven't seen since her wedding. Or melanie--who was one of my best friends/enemies/and is now one of my close friends again-all for different reasons and purposes. Or Rachel-who is now in Maryland. We're still wives/sisters, etc...but things are different. Not because she's far away, but because a lot of our commonalities have changed. Would I call her with a problem, sure. But I would probably call Christy or Allison first. Not because I don't love her--because I totally do--but we don't know the details of each others lives like we did 6 months ago-we're both busy, and its not a priority--even if it should be. Then there's Erika and Stevi--who can pick up right where we left off and we realize that our lives are busy, and different, and that doesn't change our friendship. I have friends I talk to once a year (congrats to all the ladies expecting little ones) and friends who get their feelings hurt if we don't talk more than once a week. I am sure that sometimes I sound like a bad friend, distracted by other things and unable to talk for long. And sometimes I feel like that towards others at times because of their lack of attention to me. I think part of that comes from wanting to know we are loved and valued by the people that we care so much about. A confirmation of friendship, knowing that people care about how long i cleaned the house and why my grandma is in the hospital. Unoconditionally. Even if things change, that in the end, I can count on someone to love me and value me.

Anyway, I think its so cool that God made so many ways for us to be in relationship with each other. That we can have so many different types of friends. I know I don't tell my friends nearly enough how much they mean to me. I don't say thank you when someone calls to see whats going on in my life, and I blow off things that I don't think I have time for. It's not sincere to do it in my blog (or so I have been told). But to all my friends who read this, and those who don't--please know that you are loved and important and I do have time for you--the day to day stuff is just as important as the crisis stuff--i'm also sorry I (like most of you) don't have countless hours to always hear about the day to day stuff--but it is important. Your lives are important. Each and every one of you. Please know today that above all, you are loved and valued today by me.