When did I get so lazy?

I have to tell you about something I hate. I hate when you are laying in bed at night, and you think of something you really want to say, a story you want to write, someone you want to call, something that is just out of this world awesome. you're just tired enough not to get out of bed. then you fall asleep. And the thoughts are lost forever. I've been dreaming a lot lately...almost like screenplays-dreams about people I don't know-it's kinda creepy, not fun. It's not like watching a sitcom. I deeply care about the unknown people in my dreams. It leaves me tired when I wake up, and I can never fully remember what went on, so I can't save it.

Another thing I hate. How sloppy I have gotten with my grammar. I couldn't write a paper if I tried. I know its bad. But I don't correct it. (notice the preposition starting previous sentence).
If I would get my lazy self out of bed, and work on proper grammar I could be a writer. Chances are, I'll probably just lay in bed letting my creativity leak out into the dark silence, lost forever to that place before dreams. It's sad. Kind of like something dying a slow painful death. I used to want to be a writer. Now, its kind of like one of those things i might someday get around to...which means I won't. Especially with my ideas pouring out into who knows where.

Dear imagination, may you rest in peace.

Here's Something I love. My husband. He's terrific. He cleans the house, does laundry...takes really great care of me in this crazy strange place. We have fun together, and he makes me laugh, even when I'm sad or grumpy. He also lets me watch SVU and Judging Amy. That alone is enough to be grateful. Anyway, he's great. and I love him.

Happy birthday paul.

Everyday the same.

So today, I got up just to watch judging amy. Man, I love that show. it's on twice in a row and well...my life revolves around being on the couch. So, after judging amy, I come upstairs to check my email, then obviously I will head to church. This has been my routine for the last two weeks and it seems to have worked. I even went monday after rachel and joel left. (I was muy happy for that visit!). Today, I check my email-and my psycho-micro-manager-pastor has emailed me to ask me where I am. Now keep in mind...he hasn't called me. He sends me an email asking me to please account for my time since he hasn't seen me since monday night. Not my problem. I have been there every afternoon, working and getting much accomplished. But since he hasn't seen me, he assumes I'm not working. He makes me furious. HE could have asked Brent, Sue, or Cory, all of them have seen me this week. But because he hasn't seen me, I need to adjust my office hours so that he knows I am working. I say--let him adjust his hours. Screw it. I don't care anymore. I know that my attitude toward him is effecting how I view the church. We need to leave. I will of course spend saturday with the teens and change my mind...but unless something happens (i.e. we get a new pastor) i don't see how i can hold out much longer.

In happier news--i start my theatre job on friday. Yay. At least it will get me out and make me happy...even stupid customers are better than Bud. Bring on the madness of a kids film any day.

PLEASE PLEASE pray that we can get out of here-or at least out of the church.

Reasons to stay? in Kokomo, IN

So yesterday I went home for my grandma's birthday. It was a pretty good time. Katie joined us, and that made it even better because we never get to talk any more. I think that grandma was happy, and that's really important to me. I love my grandma, and am sad that I can't go home more often. Tomorrow I have my interview at the other kerasotes theatre. Apparently they need more help. But I talked to the manager at the larger theatre, and he says that one way or another I should be employed somewhere by the end of the week. In talking to Katie about this venture back into the theatre world, she pointed out that its a great job because it's comfortable, and hey--why not. She also pointed out that anyone with any hopes of having a family wouldn't stay at a theatre job because its all nights and weekends. That made me think of Mel. She hates missing Damien's stuff--but she has to work. I miss her, and I miss those kids. So, its not a forever job, but it will provide extra income for awhile and I like it..

Anyway, here are the reasons we should stay:

1. The Harshmans. Great family-they really need loved. They weren't at church today,
and well, it made me sad.
2. Who needs friends?
3. Someone needs to tell this church about Jesus. Seriously. Our music director may be
quitting for many of the same reasons-and she grew up in this church. To quote her "These
people who call themselves christians need to take a good hard look in the mirror and grow
up" Staff-parish is making her direct the christmas cantata. Even though she resigned from
adult choir.
4. That really great theatre job.
5. fazolis, sonic, chili's, yogi's pizza.
6. I enjoy discouragement and being lectured on a regular basis by someone who eh...lets
not even talk about it.
7. I just got my license here, why pay $15 dollars for a new one somewhere else?

I have a list of reasons we should go too, but I'm trying to be positive.

What happened is this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into silliness and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives. They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.
So God said, in effect, "if that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshipped the god they made instead of the God who made them-the God we bless, the God who blesses us. -Romans 1:21-25 The Message

We're BACK!!

Hey, Hey--if I could do it all over again tomorrow *well maybe wednesday-i'm quite tired* I totally would. I met some of the most amazing people...we were like family. I need to head to bed, and there's no way I could tell you of the awesomeness of Youth specialties(I reccomend it to y'all regardless of your career choice) but I do want to share with you what the theme was and well...it made a difference in my life. Its from 2 Corinthians 6:?? approxiately verse 11 for those of you who don't believe The Message is a real translation--sorry...

Dear Dear corinthians (you can substitute your name-nifty eh?), I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I am speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!

Anyway--I'm glad to be home. We had a ton of messages--we get to vote on Bud's salary tuesday night at a church council meeting (boy howdy..i wish my vote counted!!) and I also found out that we are having a luncheon for our secretary-she apparently is leaving. Can't say that I blame her--but now's not the time for that discussion.

And we're off.

To my bestest sell-out friend...I guess we're doomed. Maybe we should talk to one of these chains about letting us open a theatre...ya know..like a franchise. It's all we're going to be good for. To everyone else, that means upon returning from Dallas, I will probably be re-entering the theatre realm. SIGH. I guess you just can't get enough of a good thing.

Have a good week all. I'll try to check in on friday if we have time. :)

And now its time to go to the airport--the adventure awaits!!

38 hours, 40 minutes.

Thats how long until we leave. we're packed. Ready. If you need me while i'm in Dallas, you can leave a message on my cell or you can email me at my yahoo account, as I will be checking that one from my phone and then from headquarters. If you don't know that email address, let me know. I'll give it to ya! I know some of you won't be able to handle not being in communication with me for a whole week (my secret michigan lover man!) so thats the deal.

We had a fish fry at church tonite, much to my suprise it was pretty fun. I'm even glad I went. The pastors wife dumped her duty on me (she went to get a drink and NEVER came back!) but thats no suprise. She didn't know where half of the stuff went when we were cleaning up, and they've been at the church over a year. Come on now--even I know where the potholders are. Tomorrow, my lesson is on families helping each other, and we are talking about how Aaron helped Moses. My plan for the afternoon and monday morning is to draw diagrams of each room so that when people use them, they know how to put stuff back. because thats my biggest problem of the week. People re-arranging rooms and not putting stuff back.

I am very happy for my dear rachel, who has taken another job and will be leaving the classic cinemas realm. It is an exciting and sad time. Of course-she took a theatre job--and she is CAPABLE of so much more...(rach-you might still want to look into substitute teaching as supplimentary income-thats a good second job) but thats ok. Following her lead to become a real theatre lifer, even outside of the world of CC, I have an informal interview monday at one of our local theatres. Fantastic. I'm excited, because like Rachel, I am comfortable doing that. Why look for a second job i might hate (or like). I know I like working at the theatre for the most part--so we'll see. Maybe monday I will change my mind. But I am glad for rachel, as I was worried that winter would come and she would still be driving in the snow and whatnot. Not fun.

To anyone who cares-I love religious freedoms as much as all my other freedoms. Of course, the peanut gallery in my head still doesn't care and well...my vote is still undecided.

Point to Ponder: We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

Ahh, Kohl's.

So today was fantastic as far as Kokomo days go...I worked-like actually did stuff, met with some of my SS teachers, hung out with my husband a little, went shopping, and well. It was great. The only thing that would have made it better would have been friends to share the day with...but that is not happening yet. I got the shoes I needed on clearance for like 1/2 off, got a pair of jeans on sale, and a new sweatery shirt. YAY. I also saw this awesome wizard of oz shirt that showed just the ruby red slippers and some crappy legs and underneath it said Bling Bling.
It was pretty fabulous.

Another positive--the pastor is in Florida helping hurricane people...and he won't be back until last sunday and we leave on monday. I haven't seen him since sunday, and if all goes as planned i won't have to see him until we get back from Dallas. And then, HOPEFULLY he or i will have a better attitude.

I am also packing for Dallas. I know we don't leave until monday-but I will actually be working saturday evening and all day sunday...so why not do it now. Besides, my wonderful husband is doing laundry, so I say pack it while its clean.

I watched the presidental debate for like 10 minutes. This is what I got. Bush trying to create freedom by freeing IRAQ and Kerry saying "I can do it better". Let's be honest. I've seen monkeys "do it better". It was pretty ridiculous, and we all know how political minded I am, so I changed the channel and watched Seinfeld instead (Big hoorah to non-network channels not airing the debate!).

So that was pretty much my day. The best day I have had in a long time, with no headache, sore throat, or bleh feeling at all. It was just like the first week or two here when I still had hope. Sounds like a pretty ordinary day-but hey-its the little things, right?

Oh sweet Dallas. 97 hours and 48 minutes. Maybe someone will offer my husband a job :)