Hello blog.

So, its been over a year since I've actually written anything here.  A lot has changed.   Mostly, I'm just too lazy to type it all out.  I'd love to share whats happening on the journey.  I also value connection and community, and feel technology has robbed us of real relationship.  So, I may update this later when I get some spare time, but until then, give me a call.  If you need my number, send me a message or comment.  :)

My prayer is that you feel the presence of God with you today in whatever you do, that HIS grace is bigger and deeper than your understanding, and you are able to love deeper every day. 

I get it Jesus!

One of my favorite quotes all through college went a little like this: God is always speaking.  We must choose whether to listen to his whisper, or wait for his brick.  That's how the last 5 months of my life have felt.  I've been listening, and listening, and listening.  Yet, God still has more for me.

 I don't listen long enough, or something, because I feel like he's constantly smacking me with a brick.  It's ok.  I know He means well.  He is, after all, God.  For the past few weeks, I've just wanted to scream, "I GET IT JESUS--NOW BACK OFF!"  This attitude may actually be the reason for the bricks.  I acknowlege that and continue to tantrum.  I've listened.  I've waited.  I continue to do so...anxiously, of course. 

Most days, I just want life to be normal.  To return to a state of being from this time last year.  I know thats boring, and thats not the life God designed for me...but it would be nice, for a little while.  I actually began praying, and felt at peace with the idea last October that this next year was going to bring terrific things to my family.  I didn't realize that in those prayers, and in that peace, life would look like it does today.  I look forward to sharing more details about our journey soon, but for now, just pray that God maybe finds some foam bricks :)

Crazy busy life.

Well, no posts since December.  I am a posting failure on this blog.  I do have a little better record on my other blog www.disneyinstyle.blogspot.com so you can stop by there if you like. 

Here's the short version of the last 4 months.
Catholic Charities ended foster care.  So, I was unemployed.  Of course, this ended up being for less than a day because Lutheran Child and Family Services picked us up.  Our whole office.  We stayed housed in the Catholic charities building until just this last week, when we moved into our own office space a blog south.  My goal to work my whole life on Schuyler appears to be coming true. 

Ruby is 3.  She is potty trained.  She has a regular twin bed instead of her toddler bed.  She is awesome.  She likes math, and loves to sing and dance.  Especially for an audience.

Today I will find out if my dear sister in law is having a boy or a girl. I'm anxiously waiting the call or text or email about this, but apparently, I need to learn patience.

God's got us on another incredible journey of faithfulness and waiting.  I really have no idea how Moses led people around in uncertainty for 40 years.  I'm struggling with 4 months.  Of course, if you add the 6 months of my job uncertainty to that, I guess it's more like 10 months...but still.  It's hard to be faithful and wait.  I like action.  So, that of course is another lesson.  God's got a terrific plan I'm sure, and we're surrounded by tons of people who care about us and are waiting with us.  We're very blessed to have supportive family, friends and a wonderful church.  Let's just pray that God, knowing how much I can bear, gets to moving :)

We're planning a disney vacation for september.  i've also started a part time business as a disney vacation planner.  I'm not working super hard at it for the moment, but in those dark days of October and November, when every single day we didn't know if Catholic Charities would continue its program to the next day, it was a solid plan.  I like doing it, and it really is fun as far as work goes, so if you want to go to Disney, let me know, I'll get you all set up. 

My quizzers are incredible people.  We pray together, laugh and cry together.  I'm excited to share life with them.  We finished our regular season in fantastic fashion--taking first at sterling and second at indy.  we finished first at finals, with two quizzers ending first on the year, the weekend and the district A team.  Of course, its about more than 2.  We've got 14 going to Q2012, and im excited to see what God does next in this ministry.

I feel like more has happened, but I'm not sure what else--so--for now, live the resurrection!

Potty Training.

So, we've decided it was time for the epic battle. We've tried wearing undies a few times, like once a month on saturday when we're at home with nothing to do. We've practiced how to put them on, we've practiced how to pull them down. We've read a few children's books all about the potty. Scott and I actually have a lot of time off in the next week between the two of us, and decided it was time. Ruby can tell us when she's wet and so if she can tell us, we thought we'd dive in.

Ruby, in full stubbornness, decided she NEVER wanted to wear undies. After almost an hour of crying, tears and throwing undies at us, she fell asleep, undies on. After waking from this exhausted nap, she left them on, no arguments. At bedtime, she told us she wanted to wear her undies. Scott told her that at bed time she could wear a pull-up. Of course, that led to a little more battle this morning. It's now 11:03. We've only had one accident today. We're staying home all day, so i'm sure there will be more. Somehow, I think this whole thing would be easier if our darling child wasn't so stubborn :)

Imaginary Jesus.

I just finished reading this book called Imaginary Jesus. It's christian fiction, and some of the best I've read. Through humor, it examines the different Jesus' we conjure up in our own lives, that keep us from living for and following the real Jesus. I am especially fond of Magic 8 ball Jesus, but you need to read the book to really experience him. It's insightful, and at times a little heartbreaking. I was most taken in by the description of why Jesus lets bad things happen. In a conversation with the "real" Jesus,the author, Matt poses the following question. Enjoy the excerpt :)

“If you had been here,” I said, “my baby would still be alive.” I couldn’t bring myself to say it as a question. Where were you? If you love us so much, how could you let this happen?

Jesus was silent for a long time, his hands still on my head. I felt him lean down near my ear, and then he spoke quietly. “I am the resurrection and the life. Belief in me brings life, even if you die. And for those who live and believe in me, they will never die.” He paused. Then he asked me, “Do you believe this?”

Did I believe? If I didn’t believe that he had power over life and death, why would I be angry? There would be no point in being angry at a powerless God, because it wouldn’t be his fault that he couldn’t intervene. My anger and pain, then, were actually evidences of a deep certainty that Jesus has power over life and death. I believed with all my heart that he could bring life into any circumstance. I simply didn’t understand why he had chosen not to do so with my child. The otherness of someone who has power over death suddenly hit me. Here was Jesus, God in the flesh, who had come to earth not to condemn the world but to save it. To save us, his creation, the world and people he had brought into existence merely by desiring it. And here I was, a few decades old, thinking I could tell him how to save us.

Mikalatos, Matt; George Barna (2010-03-27). Imaginary Jesus (Kindle Locations 2907-2917). Tyndale House Publishers. Kindle Edition.

What a great encouragement! That in all things, when we are hurting, Jesus still has all the power. He's right there in the pain, weeping with us, and asking us to be real in our pain. I'm so excited that we serve such a Great Big GOD!